Colors of Confusion

Chapter 8

“Hi Crystal!” I say Happily and begin to open my locker.

“Soutine how could you!”Crystal says fury emitting off of her.

“How could I what?” I ask feigning ignorance. If she was talking about me being gay, she might as well,come out and say it.

"Ugh I can't believe you!" Crystal yells narrowing her eyes."how could you not tell me you were gay."

"Cause I know you would overreact, like your doing right now." I tell her closing my locker and she looks shocked.

"Whatever, I hope you find a boy that'll make you happy." She says defeated and I smile. Seijun and Elizabeth look at each other as if they want to say something.

"Come on Crystal-San, we are going to be late." Seijun says as the three girls walk away. I sigh.

Somebody that'll make me happy? Is somebody dating me okay? Is it alright for me to be in a relationship? I think as I walk to the art room, when I enter the room, I take my usual seat next to Gatio.

"Are you okay?" He asks me and I smile tiredly before nodding." if you say so, I'll believe you. "

I smile, I'm glad Gatio wasn't as pushy as my other friends. He allowed me to talk whenever I was ready and if that meant we sat in silence for a while, then he was okay with that.

"Is it okay for me to fall in love?" I ask out of the blue, shocking Gatio.

"Yes, totally you most definitely deserve to find love. You're an amazing person and any boy would be lucky to have you." Gatio says.

That didn't seem true at all, nobody would be lucky to have me. I'm worthless. Where were these thoughts coming from I am not worthless I have I everything I could ever wish for.

But that won't fix the void in your heart. I freeze at the thought, I don't feel anything. Why was I fighting myself? I don't understand I'm not depressed so why am I having difficulty accepting and loving myself. Why won't I let myself be happy.

"It's okay if part of you doesn't agree with what I said. It happens to the best of us. A inner conflict that we just don't know how to solve. Just know one day you'll be able to see yourself the way other see you." Gatio says staring in front of him.

Inner conflict, like how shy Luke is when he's not flirting, or Fawn's inability to feel important. Is that what's happening, A inner conflict, maybe one day I'll have the strength to solve it, but today just isn't my day.

"Thank you. " I tell Gatio.

"No problem." He says and I smile.

" thank you for being my friend. "I say under my breath and he smiles back.

" I hope you know your projects are due next week."Mr.Gold says shaking his head. We both open our sketch books and begin to draw. When the bell rings I walk out of the art room and started to walk to my class, but I was completely lost in thought.

"Soutine watch out." A voice says snapping me out of my thoughts and when I look up I see Melody standing in front of me.

" Oh sorry Mel." I tell  her and she just nods.

"Huh, its okay just be more careful, you could end up bumping into someone scary, then you'll prepare to fight because its going down." Melody says in her relaxed way of speaking. That's was just Melody I suppose a super chill and relaxed  musician, she never seem bother by anything.

She smiles gently, then puts her headphones back on and she was off and so was I. I was more cautious, as I walk to my next class. Time breezes by and before I knew it was time for English and I was walking with Luke.

"You okay there cutie, you have been awfully silent." Luke says concern etched on his face. I smile and tell him not to worry. He was about to reply but I walked into the classroom and took my seat next to Sasha. A couple seconds later look grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug.

" I'm here for you, please feel free to talk to me."Luke says to me.

My heart thumps inside my chest, my troublesome thoughts fade away and my life goes from a a dully painted gray to a lively pink. It was like when Fawn promised to be there for me and when Jaime promised to be overprotective of me. But this was more it completely changed my mood and it made me alive.

"Here's my number feel free to call my anytime you want to talk." Luke says as he puts his number into my phone. I was a little shocked by what was happening but I didn't really mind. In a blink of an eye, all contact between me and Luke were gone and he was heading towards his seat. With a small smile I sit down in my seat.

"What was that about?" Sasha ask

"Nothing," I reply with a smile on my face, and Sasha rolls her eyes.

"Your such a weirdo." She says nonchalantly, pulling out her phone.

"That's what you love about me." I reply and she sighs. The bell rings and the rest of the day fly's by and before I know it was time for my club meeting. I stood outside the room as people walk in, once all my club members were in I take my normal seat. I feel a tap on shoulder and look over to Gatio.

"Ready?" I ask and he nods. I spend half my time working with Gatio and the other half talking and helping the other members. When the time was up Yeong and I clean up the art room

"So Soutine you and Luke?" Yeong ask with a smile on her face.

"We are friends." I tell her and she looks disappointed.

"Aw man, well I think you'll make a cute couple. Oh maybe you can help me." Yeong says with her smile coming back.

"Help me set up Gatio and Amor." She says.

"How about after his art contest. So when he wins it would be a double positive." I tell her and she smiles." Also I know the captain of the soccer team so I'll ask about Amor."

"Really? Thank you so much!" Yeong says happily. I sigh before heading out of the art room.

"See you later." I tell Yeong as I take out my phone.

Me:Ethan, do you know an Amor?
Soccer friend: yeah why?
Me: I want to meet him.
Soccer friend: practice is over so he should be upfront.
Me:Thanks.

I put my phone up and walk to the front of the school. When I get there I look for the boy that Gatio has been drawing. When my eyes land on him I quickly over.

"Are you Amor?" I ask and the boy turns around and nods confused.

A/N:Whoa,that was a long chapter but it had a lot in it. Stay tuned for the next one.