Our love is madness...

Chapter 12

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I feel like nobody has ever cared about me. Like life's just a big joke and the 'big man in the sky' is laughing hysterically at me and my mistakes. I decide to go for a walk.

I quickly take a shower and get dressed into black jeans my black and white skull shirt with my docs. I walk downstairs not looking up considering I haven't put any make-up on and because I don't want to look up to see the joy on their faces.

"Jasmine where are you going?" I hear Sammy yell excitedly. I ignore her and grab my coat as I walk out of the door onto the streets of London.

"Jas where are you going?" I hear Hannah call.

"Don't ever call me that!" I say through gritted teeth. It brings back too many memories of when I was 'happy' with my mother. Tears threaten to fall down my face, I quickly wipe them as I start walking away from that retched place.

I saunter down the streets as the cold air hits my face. I look up at the joyful faces that fill the streets.

Physically I feel okay, but mentally, my mind is just a blur. There's nothing that can fill the hole that has been ripped out of me.

I feel so down.

I feel simple.

unwanted.

I decide to listen to my music and the tourist by Radiohead comes on. Way to lighten up my mood.

It barks at no one else but me

Like it's seen a ghost

I guess it seen the sparks a-flowing

No one else would know

Hey man slow down, slow down

Idiot, slow down, slow down

Sometimes I get overcharged

That's when you see sparks

You ask me where the hell I'm going

At a thousand feet per second

Hey man slow down, slow down

Idiot slow down, slow down

Hey man slow down, slow down

Idiot slow down, slow down

After what seems like I've been walking for eons I come across a park. It's not your average park with slides and swings. Instead it is filled with trees, the trees of Autumn.

For once in my life I take my time to admire the beauty of what autumn brings. The red, orange and yellow leaves sway gently in the breeze.

I sit down under a massive tree and watch the cars stop at the lights beckoning call. It's like the cars stop for a while before the lights turn green allowing the multitude to move forward. Like life. Eventually you stop, you feel down and then something amazing comes into your life, Then the cycle continues.

I sit for who knows how long still listening to the tourist in repeat until I hear Someone say "its beautiful isn't it."

She knocks me out of my thoughts. It takes me a while for my brain to process what she said as there are so many things on my mind.

"Yes, it is." is all I muster to say.

"I'm Bridgette by the way." the gorgeous blonde says.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Jasmine." I say feeling like I'm in one of those cheesy movies.

"What you listening to?" she asks as she slips the other headphone in her ear.

"The tourist by Radiohead." I murmur.

"I've heard of the band but never listened to them." she pauses. "the song sounds depressing. she says her face glowing.

Why can't I smile as bright as her? Why am I so dull and boring? because when god created me he added a bit of awkwardness but accidentally tipped the whole fricken cup in.

"They're a good band." I say glumly.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, just some issues." I say half lying. because I'm not okay but I have issues. Like I'm an issues but people are causing issues.

Do you ever have the feeling where you just want to punch someone in the face because they're so self centered and consumed that they think everyone else around them are pieces of shit that they can kick around with their high heels? yeah you know I'm talking about tho use bitches that run the whole fricken school. yeah.

Life is so confusing I just want a nice friend that I can talk to without being stabbed in the back.

"Earth to Jasmine." Bridgette says waving a hand in front of my face.

"Hmm sorry. I zoned out" I say glumly.

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Writers note: I hope you have been enjoying my book so far. Sorry if it's boring. I'm not to sure if it's good or not because people haven't been telling me. You could inbox me or leave a comment. keep museing on with your museyness xxx.