Shadowhunters/ Isabella lightwood girlxgirl fanfic

Flashs of the past - past 2

I was finally managed to get some sleep but not a lot. After thinking of the time Tessa found out that I don't let people help I went to sleep but when i woke i kept thinking of the time I heard Will, Tessa and Jem talking about what happened the day after. They were trying to explain why I didn't let people help me. Will said something that I thought wasn't true but now I don't know.

*Flash of 1902 the day after*
I was walking when I heard Tessa, Will and Jem talking about me. At first all I could hear was my name but i was too far away to hear anything. So I walked closer to them talking and I started to hear more but it was quite so I went next to the nearest wall so I could hear them fully.

"So tell me about Rosa, what's her deal" Tessa ask try to understand me. Which not a lot of people can do.

"Umm she just doesn't like it when people help her she never have" Will was the first one to respond.

"Well does she let you two help her when she fights demon because she grow her with so..." Tessa questioned. And it was a good one and it's reasonable.

"No she doesn't let anyone even when she in life and death situation she still doesn't" Jem told Tessa. Jem has always understand that about me and he never makes me change or anything. I knew Jem longer than anyone he introduced me to Will and the others.

"But why dose she do that I mean what make her think that it's better to let her do things by herself" Tessa wondered.

"Her parents weren't there so she had to do a lot of things on her own" Will said.

"Yeah her parents just dropped her off here when we were really little 5 or 4 maybe" Jem added.

"Do you k is what I think" Will paused and I guess that Tessa and Jem nodded "I think that the only person she will ever let help her is someone that she will love more than a friend. Someone that she can grow old with and have a family" Will told them and than they talk about me and when I first came the institute. But I didn't want to think about that so I went to my room and thought about what Will said.

*end of flash back*

What Will said stayed with me even now. If that is the only reason why I would let someone help me (I think what he said was true) than why did I let izzy help me. Cause I don't love her and I won't grow old with her because you know she's a girl. And i know that the same sex can be together and I'm not against that seeing as that I love Magnus and Alec together. But I'm not into girls like like guys. Well i have never been with anyone, haven't had my fist kiss or date. I just didn't think that was useful when I was at the institute. I didn't do any of that when I woke up either cause I was getting used to the new world and I had no time. Sometimes think that I will never date or grow old together I just don't see it in my future. But I guess Alec didn't see it either until Magnus came along. He seem like the to not date anyone and just focus on hunting and kill demons. That's all I have ever knew.

I think that it's about time I get out of bed and eat something. I didn't want to think if the last anymore because it makes me think if the people I grew up with and what i think of family. They were there for me when my own parents weren't and didn't think to change me about the whole not letting people help me. They understand that and they are my family who understand me and I couldn't imagine them not being them so it hurts me when I think about them cause they were there my whole life and now they're not.

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~Ashlee