Project 1000 School Virgin || Completed

chapter 35 | Project Falling For You

NOT EDITED! Point out mistakes :)

Sorry for the short chapter! Exams are killing me...still have four more papers to write and math is one of them...kill me someone  :( 

"Where do I start?"

"The beginning would be a great start."

I sighed as I recalled the events that changed who I was. "Once upon a time my father and I had the perfect father and daughter relationship but that was before he died." I let out a shaky breath as I finally said it out loud that my father was gone, gone and he was never coming back.

It took some time for me to finally admit that he left me and all he left was memories that faded in time.

"He died when I was fourteen or fifteen. I really cannot remember I locked the memory away. It took me ten months before I could remember everything that happened that fateful night the night that took away my innocence,"

"What so you are not a virgin?"

I lightly slapped his shoulder. "Not that innocence, idiot," I shushed him and continued from where I had left off.

"And when I mean my innocence, I mean –witnessing my own father dying and I did not do a thing," I paused as I waited for his judgmental looks but he had none of all the judgmental looks I was used to and that was all the encouragement I needed before I continued.

"I know I killed him. I was into hardcore drugs – one of my friends introduced it to me. I was dealing with a lot and the drugs made me forgot who I was. So I kept on taking drugs. I owned a huge sum of money and I was fourteen and I knew I could not pay it but my dad could." I bit my lips, gazing off to the distance as I recalled how messed I once was.

I continued, "So, I gave the person who I owned money to - my father's banking details and they stole pretty much everything. He was left with nothing. When he found out what had happened, he was mad. I had never seen him that mad and I hated him for it."

Memories of that night came rushing back. It was like re-watching a movie that I had no choice but to watch it over and over again.

"It was hard to believe that the last conversation with my father was me calling him a selfish jerk and telling him how much I hated him. I always wondered how he felt knowing he died with his child hating him. I don't hate him but at that moment I did with every bone in my body." I blinked the tears away as I swallowed the tears away. I had done enough of that to last a lifetime.

Lorenzo leaned forwards as he rubbed my shoulders in what he hoped was comfort. "Alexandria, it was not your fault. People say things they don't mean."

I shook my head wildly and leaned away from his comfort touch. I did not deserve his kindness but I knew what I was about to say next would repulse him.

"He was driving us home back and all he and I did was argue and argue. I remember him looking at me, he was about to say something to me but I never gave him a chance to say anything. I gripped the steering wheel from him. I don't know why but I did. I didn't see that there was another car on the other lane but it was too late my dad lost controlled and knocked into the vehicle."

Tears flowed freely and I did not bother to wipe them away.

"That wasn't even the worst part. He told me to unbuckle his seatbelt to help him move around so that he could crawl out from under the car but I didn't. I watched him and I left him."

This time I saw that judgmental looks in his eyes, the way he leaned away from me. I deserved it and I knew it. He opened his mouth, shut it open and whispered- "What?"