The Uncomplicated/Uncomfortable Principle (Big Bang Fanfic)

Chapter seven

  (¯*´¯'*•.¸¸.WHOOSH! *´¯'*•.¸¸.•´¯)

There is a thump on the Planet Aid’s entrance causing the thin steel cover to rattle. Sheldon had secured it with a small chain and padlock he’d produced from his emergency bag and had told Penny it would stop falling debris from crashing inside. She wonders if it also prevented her from running off and leaving him – she never would have of course – but she appreciates how it protects them from unwanted visitors. Penny feels Sheldon at her shoulder now, urging her forward, the crossbow in her hands.

“Got your back, Jack,” he says.

Penny looks at him, arching an eyebrow.

“Um, okay. Got your rear, dear.”

Penny raises the other one and shakes her head. She orders him to unlock the padlock and remove its chain. He steps back and Penny kicks the flap open roughly and aims the crossbow; daylight floods the cell. Howard looks up at her and raises his hands in surrender, his face white with fear.

“Penny, I can explain… we were just, you know, getting back at Sheldon. It was a gag… ”

She’d wondered about the whole pigeon thing all along. It had pushed all of Sheldon’s buttons and now she realized Howard and Raj had cooked the whole thing up. Sheldon had been right about the earthquake though; he'd been prepared and had proved those two weirdos wrong.

“Some gag, douche bag,” she snaps. “Where’s Leonard?”

“Um, you’re standing on him,” Howard says, pointing to the open metal flap she’d kicked to the ground. She sees the top of a red hardhat peeping out from underneath and hears muffled noises.

“Oh my god,” she squeals and hands Sheldon the crossbow before lifting the cover and dragging Leonard out. Howard moves to help her but Sheldon levels the crossbow. “Keep ’em up, pilgrim.”

Howard gulps. “Sheldon?”

Leonard staggers up, scratched and dazed, but still smiling. “I’m so glad you’re safe!” he cries and gives Penny a fierce hug, well, fierce by Leonard’s standards.

“Sheldon, please tell me… why are you still POINTING THAT THING AT ME?” Howards rasps.

“How do I know this isn’t a trap, and some fifth columnists have brainwashed you and Leonard into drawing Penny and I out into the open before they pick us off, one by one?

“Sheldon, this whole thing was a mistake.  We didn’t realize you’d be crazy enough to take it that seriously—“

“Hey, buddy”, Leonard puffs, “not a good idea to call him crazy when he’s carrying a loaded crossbow…” and he takes a hit from the inhaler he’s produced from a pocket.

“Put the crossbow away, Sheldon,” Penny says looking across the street, “we’re safe. Look, there’s my car!”

Sheldon lowers his weapon and peeps out of the container.

Penny’s old red Volkswagen is by the roadside, crumpled and strapped to a crane beside the hole that had appeared five hours earlier. He follows her out, not noticing Howard deftly take the crossbow away from him and uncock it with a relieved sigh.

The hole is enormous and very deep.

“A sinkhole! Well, I’ll be darned,” Sheldon exclaims.

“What’s a sinkhole?” Penny says peering into the chasm.

“Often it’s caused by centuries of underground erosion that causes the surface to collapse in on itself. It happened on the freeway a few months back… Penny, I must apologize. I was… mistaken.”

“You still saved my life, Sheldon,” she says, with a beaming smile and kisses him full on the lips. He makes spitting noises and reaches for a wet wipe from his emergency bag.

“C’mon, Sheldon. Let’s get your stuff packed and get outta here before the cops notice,” Leonard says. 

DON'T BE AFRAID TO CLICK THE LITTLE STAR GRAPHIC IN THE TOP RIGHT CORNER IF YOU THOUGHT THIS CHAPTER WAS GOOD. :)

Quiz question (three actually):

The souvenir broadsword Sheldon and Leonard bought together from the comic book store hangs by the door of their apartment.

1. Which show did it come from?

2. Whose sword is it?

3. What is it called?

 LAST CHAPTER NEXT FRIDAY. :)