Burn Bright ×Maxian×

4

[Song: Nearly Witches (Demo version) by Panic! At The Disco]

I'm starting to hate how my mind works. Everything becomes so off topic within a matter of seconds, I just blurt out whatever stupid thought is on my mind, I always think of stupid irrelevant things at the worst times, and I notice things no one cares about. I must be stupid or something. There has to he something wrong with me.

I hate how I asked Ian that stupid question that made him uncomfortable. I never should have said or thought anything like that.

Tiredly, I heave myself out of bed and go to the door. I open the door to silence and find that I'm alone. Ian must've left because of me.

A note on the kitchen counter confirms my thought.

Now I'm alone with my mind, the one thing that I'm the most angry with at the moment. Why did I have to say it.

My feet take me to the couch where I sit and turn on the tv. I turn on the channel we have that sometimes plays movies and watch what's on. It's  a boring movie but I have nothing better to do.

But of course, my mind wanders to thoughts I rather take and seal away in a vault that can never be opened again. I think of Ian, and I think of myself. I think of Ian's lips on mine, and our hips rubbing against each other. I think of him undressing me, and I doing the same to him. I think of him pushing me down onto his bed and getting on top of me, his lips still on mine, he asks if I'm okay with what he's doing and I tell him I am.

Before anything becomes more serious, the door slams open and I nearly jump out of my skin. Ian stumbles through the door, a bag in his hands, and shuts it behind him. He leans against the door, not noticing me.

"Ian?" I ask.

"Heeeyyy Maxy," Ian slurs.

"What's wrong with you?" I don't get it, I've never seen him act like this before.

"Nothing's wrong," an odd smile crept onto his face as he reached into his bag and pulled out a can. "You want a drink?"

"What is it?" I looked at the can suspiciously.

"Don't be stupid, Max," Ian said with a laugh. "It's beer."

"Why do you have beer?" In all my years with him, I've never seen Ian drink once. I barely knew what beer was, only from what I've heard on tv.

"I wanted to try it." Ian walked to me and gave me a can. "Drink it."

I looked down at the can then back at Ian. He was urging me on and I really didn't want to let him down. I looked the can open and took a drink. It hurt my throat and I wanted to spit it back out, but at the same time I wanted more of it.

Ian laughed at my reaction. "You'll get used to the feeling. Keep drinking." He pulled out another can, opening it and gulping it down. I followed his lead, drinking as much as I could in one breath, which wasn't much.

"Why did you get beer?" I asked Ian as I finished my first can.

"You already asked me that," Ian replied, giving me another can. "And I wanted us to drink together since neither of us have before."

"Okay," I nodded. I was beginning to feel weird and I'm guessing the beer was the cause. I kept drinking with Ian, ignoring how I was feeling.

"Can I tell you something?" Ian said, setting down his beer can. I nodded, drinking from own. "Remember how you asked me if I've been kissed?"

"Yeah?" I replied, finishing off my second beer (or maybe the third).

"When I was -I don't know- like ten or something, I went to this party for my friend's birthday and that's when it happened," Ian paused and sat back. "We played truth or dare and I got dared to kiss this one guy, they were trying to get me to back out because I wouldn't, but I kissed him."

"Was it nice?" I asked without thought.

"I didn't mind the kiss itself," he told me. "But the boy smacked me after and everyone else joined in and beat me up."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I leaned on Ian and looked at the clock. It was late afternoon but I already felt tired. "Have you ever thought of redoing it?"

"You don't just redo something like that," Ian laughed.

"You could," I reasoned.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "You know how you asked me about having sex with you?"

"Yeah..." I trailed off.

"I would."

I felt like my heart stopped. Everything I've imagined came back all at once. I grabbed another beer, opening it quickly and drinking. I didn't want him to know how many of those thoughts were running through me head at the moment because if he knew, he would run.

Ian got close to my ear and whispered "You want it, don't you?"

His hand running across my crotch made chills run up my spine. I didn't realise until now how my body reacted to all the thoughts, but Ian clearly saw it.

Ian pulled me into his lap, making my legs straddle his. We were face to face now. We gazed at each other for only a few seconds before our lips collided. It felt wonderfully bad. We were drunk and he probably didn't mean a thing but it felt like heaven to me. I didn't want him to ever stop.

And just when everything was perfect, it all came crumbling down.

××××

Blind light crept over my face, causing me to try and hide from whatever the source was, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I could faintly hear someone saying something but it just sounded like a distant echo.

I felt nothing but pure tiredness. Even if I wanted to get up, I just felt too tired to move.

And then it hits me: what happened to me? The last thing I remember is kissing Ian. And also, where am I?

"Max, wake up," I faintly hear.

I wanted to scream. I was awake but I wasn't. My body wasn't listening to me. I wanted out.

I felt something cold on my forehead and something warm in my hand. I grabbed what was in my hand and tried with all my will to open my eyes.

When I saw everything around me, I felt like crying in joy. I was no longer trapped in the dark but instead in the light of my home.

"You scared me!" Ian cried as he pulled me into a tight hug. "Jesus Christ I thought I was going to have to take you to the hospital."

"What happened?" I slurred out tiredly.

"You started dozing off so I told you to go to bed and you fell onto the tv and smashed you head into the glass," Ian explained.

"Did I break it?" I asked fearfully.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is you're okay," Ian kissed my forehead. "Lay down for a bit, but don't sleep."

"I broke it, didn't I?" I asked, feeling horrible and knowing the answer.

"Yes," Ian sighed.

"I'm so sorry," I felt like crying.

"It's fine, Max." Ian smiled at me and left the room.