The Devil Wants Me

dinner as a family

As a girl, I had always wanted to have a family dinner.

I saw it in Peppa Pig, and I loved how they all would sit around an uncomfortably small table and chairs and laugh and talk about their day while Peppa pig tried to boss her brother, George, around. It seemed so wholesome to me. I used to pretend that my dolls were my family and pour them lunch and dinner. Most nights, I ate with them, and pretended that they would look up to me and always compliment me and tell me that they loved me. In a weird way, it made me feel complete.

I'd never been to a family dinner, except thankgiving, but that wasn't exactly the best. My grandmother and grandfather would give my mother disapproving looks because of her behavior. She once brought edibles to the dinner table and we had to leave early due to her inappropriate behavior with my cousins boyfriend. Welcome to the story of my life.

I went downstairs, thinking that William had left and that I could make myself and my mom dinner, but I was pleasently surprised to see that he hadn't and he was laughing with my mother about something. There was something undeniably right about the moment.

"Are you staying for dinner?" I asked politely as my mother tried to contain her laughter from something Will had said earlier. Will looked uncomfortable at the question and as I looked at my mother's now somber face, I realized that my mother had never invited him to stay. After a moment of silence, Will gathered his items.

"No, thank you. I guess I'll be going, then. Have a good day you two." He said as he briskly headed towards the door. My mother bit her lip as she watched him struggle with the lock of the door. I glanced at her hopeful face, and then looked towards Will. She wanted him to stay.

"Wait, Will. I'm cooking a family recipe today. We would love you to stay." I offered. Will's eyes shifted from mine to my mothers. He was waiting for her approval, I realized. I glared at her, not afraid of what she would do for once in my life. She needed to man up and ask Will to have dinner with us, whether her stupid boyfriend liked it or not.

"Yea, we would." My mother said reluctantly. Will calculated for a minute, studying my mothers face.

"Oh, I don't know. I think I'll just go home and watch tv, maybe eat some popco-"

"Stay." My mother interrupted Will, surprising both of us with her firmness. We both looked at her, surprised. She noticed, blushing a little. "Please." She added after a minute. Will smiled, his dimples showing, making the wrinkles around his eyes more prominent. He took off his jacket, and sat down at the dining table, conversing with my mother while I went ahead and started on dinner.

Looking back, my mom always went out for dinner. After my dad was gone, she never wanted to eat alone. I tried to eat dinner with her, but she always refused. My grandma had said that it was because I reminded her too much of him. However, looking at her now, she seemed fine. It was almost like Dad was here. It seemed perfect. Will and Mom seemed perfect. I smiled to myself and put my heart and soul into the dinner I was preparing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I felt tired after eating, and left Mom and Will to have dessert all by themselves. I decided to go to the El Purée to have some coffee. I told my mom where I was going and she dismissed me with a wave of her hand and told me to be back by curfew, which was 2 o'clock in the morning. I laughed and told her I would be back. Nothing really happens after 2 o' clock anyways.

El Purée would close at 10 o'clock and it was only 8:30. I stepped into the shop, savoring the smell of the coffee. Meri wasn't working today, but a girl named Hannah was. She was short, and had the prettiest olive skin. Cute freckles dotted her face, and her brown hair were in a frizzy ponytail. She waved at me, remembering me from the one shift we had shared earlier this year and I smiled at her and ordered my usual.

Looking around the shop, I spotted Austin and my heart jumped a little. I contemplated on whether I should just make a run for it. His hair were tousled and he was on his laptop. He looked so tired, my heart hurt just looking at him. I studied him for a while, admiring how his curls fell over his face perfectly. Austin stretched a little and knocked his elbow into his coffee and it spilled over. He cursed out loud and I looked away. The barista called my name and I smiled thankfully, grabbing my coffee. I sipped it, noticing that there was barely any sugar.

I strode across to the corner where El Purée kept sugar and straws for convenience. I grabbed some sugar and was about to get to work mixing, when I felt someone approach from behind me. I turned a little to give them space to do whatever they needed to, but they stayed close behind me. I swallowed, turning to face the person who was behind me. Austin stared at me, his usual smile replaced with something dark. I tried to move, but it was almost like he was pinning me to the convenience table.

"Oh h-hey A-austin." I stammered. I looked up at Austin's eyes but they were so intense, I had to look down. "What a-are yo-u doing?" I asked, as Austin continued to step closer to me. Austin swallowed, looking at me. My mind went blank because of his stare. I met his eyes, and was surprised to see the fierceness gone.

"Sorry." Austin said, suddenly backing off. He seemed apologetic about the fact that I seemed uncomfortable, but not about the fact that he almost squished me to death. There was an uncomfortable silence as Austin looked at me weirdly and I continued to stare at his chest and shoulder area.

"So... what are you doing here?" I broke the silence. Austin grinned at me, his eyes sparkling.

"Tasteful coffee, Bri." Austin reminded me, his finger chiding. I laughed a little, but it sounded forced. Austin noticed the falseness and stopped grinning. There was another moment of silence.

"Soooo... you and Meri, huh?" I asked, my voice a touch hoarse. Austin's eyes dimmed a little as he slowly nodded. I looked at the floor, not really saying anything. "Well, I guess I will just leave then," I said with a false laugh, trying to squeeze my way out.

"Brianna." Austin said urgently. I didn't make eye contact. Austin swallowed, repeating my name again. I pretended not to hear as I grabbed my coffee, a few napkins and the sugar, getting the hell out of El Purée. As soon as I was out of the store, I ran. I didn't care that my coffee was sloshing all over the place. I didn't feel like drinking it anymore. All I wanted to do was leave El Purée, it's stupid coffee and it's stupid people behind.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

My stride felt a little heavy and my legs felt like boulders. I didn't really want to go home, because I knew that Will was still there and I didn't want him seeing me in this state. I felt tires screeching behind me, and looked behind me to see a black, sleek car slowing to a stop beside me. My heart raced a little, and my stride quickened. El Purée was around a mile behind, and there would be no way I could reach it in time.

"Hey, pretty lady." A voice came from the car, and it was almost like the voice was struggling not to laugh. As soon as I heard it, I recognized the voice and coolly looked inside the window. Yep, it was exactly who I thought it was. I kept walking. Sure enough, the car followed. "Get in." The voice commanded, this time less fun. 

"No." I replied, walking faster. The car continued to follow me. 

"You know, I saw you in there. At El Purée I mean." I glanced back into the car and saw the expression on Jackson's face. It was a mix of emotions, but none of them were jealousy like I expected. I felt a pang of shame, and then realized that that was the exact reaction Jackson needed. I could feel his smirk as he opened the door to his car, waiting for me to make a decision.

I got into the car.