My flooded thoughts began.
It moved me to think that such a thing had been going on with one of his best friends, Alex Ernst. He had asked the two boys to go with him and start to deal. I was so mind boggled by the idea because just five years ago, I was only about twelve, my brother had been doing the same thing. The more aged I became, I had realized how much wrong my parents had done to disown their child. He didn't deserve it, yet everyone felt he did. Simple mistakes were the ones he got yelled at for the most and it was like some unspoken rule that I was forbidden to talk to him. I remember I texted him one day wondering if he would answer and he did for a minute or so, until I was yelled at for talking to him. It's beating me up inside because I want to tell David so bad. He deserved to know everything. The innocent him couldn't turn into someone like my brother or Alex. It was a sacred rule that he stayed with his family no matter what, I don't care if that ruins his and Alex's relationship because it's better than ruining Davids life. If he were to fall into it and let Alex take over, he would be oblivious to the wrongs that he would be making. I don't know why it had to be like this too, our problematic lives weren't enough I guess.
I then fell asleep with my anxious thoughts still in mind. It's the only time I can relax. My dreams always felt so realistic and they were so bad most of the time. I looked around to see I was walking down the crowded streets, that I recognized were from Chicago and it was raining. Except they weren't very crowded probably due to the rain, few people walking around. I looked up to find everything in slow motion just like a movie. There was David, standing in front of me, as if in slow motion, a smile spreads across his lips as do I while we look into each other's eyes. But then a loud bang came from behind him and I watch as David falls to the ground and I scream. I wake up to find myself out of breath, gasping for air. It was just a dream. Nothing would happen to someone so pure like him. Oh god. I sat up and dropped to the floor with my knees to my chest and cry. If this ever happened I could never live with myself even if he didn't care for me like I did him. I wouldn't be able to live.
I get up and wipe my tears. Just a dream. A bad dream. A nightmare. No, night terror. I've had them before, never so specific and it's been so long. I have this unstable feeling in my stomach. I walk downstairs and find myself in the kitchen. I grab a water bottle and shuffle back to my room. I return to my bed and fall back asleep.
Why did I dream like this? A simple question that I don't want to answer. Years back I was in front of my uncles house hanging out with him when a car pulled up, I was only 14 and soon enough I had a knife held up to my neck and I watched helplessly as my uncle was shot in the head. Now I treat everything as if the person is gonna die from it, except my own body of course.
The next morning I get up and quickly shower, with my hair up so it doesn't get wet, letting the warm water roll down all of my body's curves. I step out into my cold room and get dressed. It was another colder day, once again the clouds had came back, so I threw on a plain black hoodie, blue skinny jeans and my regular black old school vans. I slipped out the door because I woke up a little late.
Friday, the stress of tests were always a lot to handle, but I somehow always got by with straight A's. It was like some magical thing I could do because I knew it was so hard for many others. I was more aware with my surroundings this morning and watched everything. I approached the school and greeted my friends with a smile on my face. The first bell rang and we all parted and started to walk to our classes. Then David walked with me to the same class because my schedule had just changed this class and another.
"Hey David," I spoke.
"Good morning Liza. And your head?"
"It's gone, just like I said," I chimed, much more happier than the days before, in a better mood.
