I left him in the hall. He stood still while the people passed by him and I disappeared into the crowd.
I felt dirty and it wasn't even my fault.
Fuck you Riley.
I'm absolutely sure he knew he had this effect.
I mean what. the. fuck.
I sat in my car and let the tears stream. I literally didn't know how to feel or let it out, but crying seemed to help I guess.
I got home and immediately sat in the bath as it filled with the bubbly water. I was actually thankful in this moment that my mom or dad weren't home as my mother had an extravagant bath tub. I sat for quite awhile in the water, drowning in my thoughts. Soon I got into the shower and scrubbed my neck as well as my lips and face, eventually I was crying so hard that I kept going and scrubbed my neck more. After finally feeling satisfied and clean I got out of the shower and changed into black sweatpants and a grey hoodie. I pulled on some thin white long socks that were underneath the sweats. I grabbed a blanket as well and threaded down the stairs.
Maybe because the whole thing was so unexpected that it made me feel so.. traumatized? Yeah.
I got onto the couch and pulled my hood up, sitting very tucked under my blanket and deep into the couch. I was scrunched up into a ball with my phone half a foot away from my face.
I couldn't even really handle that. So I put my phone down and tried to sleep. That much crying almost put me to sleep in the shower.
I fell deeply asleep in the couch.
It was four hours before I had gotten a knock at the door. I looked in the mirror by the front and saw the lines on my face from the way I slept.
I opened the door with no hesitation to see a disturbed David.
"I- I-" he couldn't seem to find words. "I was just- are you okay?" breathlessly he spoke. "I just didn't know if like we were okay and you left early... Apparently Riley sexually assaulted some girl earlier, so now he's being expelled. And then I couldn't just leave school, I miss a lot already and I really contemplated it because you're important to me, but I would also be in a bit of trouble, but not too much. And- I really just came by to ask if you are okay."
He takes hold of my hands to look into my glossy eyes. If I didn't stop crying I was surely going to dehydrate.
"Come inside?" I just ask.
He nods and we sit in the warmth of where I had been sleeping. I had my knees pulled up as I sat by him with our sides touching.
"Are you okay Liza?" He asks again.
His OCD was surely getting to him. He had to know if I was okay. I knew the question would repeat if I didn't answer him soon.
I swallowed and tapped on my leg. Was I even supposed to tell him something like this? I was sure he was my best friend and I told him everything because I was comfortable with it, but this was his other friend and what if Riley was right? What if he would choose to believe him over me? I mean they had been friends much longer than I became more than just the girl in the halls.
"Liza you're worrying me," he says anxiously. "Did- did I do something wrong? I thought you said you would confide in me over everything.."
"N-no I'm fine," I stammer.
"You're lying to me," he frowns.
"Don't do this to me," I say. "It's how you get your answers and it works so easily on me." I did want to tell him everything, but how could I if I was so easily conflicted with myself?
He looks at me with worry in his eyes. The brown shade always had a certain glimmer that showed his emotions and I seemed to notice it more often than before- before I knew.
"Liza-"
"You- you know that girl Riley 'apparently' sexually assaulted?" I decided this was the way it was going to go. "What, were those his words, 'apparently'?" I ask suddenly.
"Yeah..." He didn't seem to piece things together very quickly. Oblivious in fact. It was one of the many parts of human nature that things may be much simpler if it wasn't.
"Well David, that girl was me and I don't think it was much of an 'apparently', he did. It did happen and whatever he told you is a damn lie. Then again he said you would believe him over me any day because 'apparently' I was the victim, but he was no liar and you knew him longer than we've been friends."
"He said he- that he was just kissing a girl and she said that he assaulted her... wha- what happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it.. I didn't want to hurt you if you thought the wrong thing."
"Liza- I would always believe you.." he said slowly. Something about that also hurt, I mean I didn't keep anything from him so that wasn't a problem. Things that were aforementioned seemed to escape his lips, "You know.. I love you... and nothing would change that," he assured.
"I know and- and I love you too and it's really hard when I know you tried to express it to more people such as holding my hand in the halls, but I was I afraid I hurt you by letting you go. I was afraid that, I wasn't exactly your property and certainly no ones property, but I had a feeling he had done what he did so that I would feel one way and that was absolutely disgusting. I know I am not officially claimed as yours, but David I am yours."
What I said seemed absurdly unnecessary, but it made me feel better, so that's what mattered.
I couldn't read his expression as well as usual. He didn't do anything for me to infer on his thoughts. All until he slid his hand up my cheek and soon the other as well and pulled his face in to meet his lips with mine.
Feeling like this had to be unreal. There was no way this wasn't fictional. Certain electricity powering through my body, my pulse thudding in my wrists. What happened earlier couldn't change how I was feeling. The shear joy that had suddenly filled me overpowered fear and hurt. Damnation was the opposite of us. We weren't the damned, we were saved, by each other.
Words could not express how this single human being made me feel.
"Liza," his eyes glimmered with joy and concern, "I know now this is not an appropriate time to ask, but if I don't ask now when I am in the prime of my courage, it won't happen. I don't really know how this is supposed to go, but Liza you have been the most patient person with me and I have never appreciated a person with so much love and I don't want to make some huge speech because that would be.. honestly weird, but-" he cuts off for a pause and I swear to god if he says something- "Liza I want you to be my girlfriend. I want a label. I want something that means so much more than kissing and 'I love yous'. And you're absolutely right. You're mine and I don't want anyone else to have you."
The empty house fell dead silent, only if I wasn't so struck by what I had wanted for so long I could speak, but it was so much happiness that I didn't even know was possible. Completely throwing off every other feeling I had that day.
"Yeah," I spoke quietly.
Wow this was happening now? Was it too fast because honestly it didn't feel fast enough.
A label meant he was mine.
A label meant I was his.
A/N - yikes guys, such bipolar chapters.
