Catharsis

The End of War

Why did this always happen? Why was I always the one left out in the cold whilst the rest of them shared the day's news around a warm fire.

I give up. I had spent my time trying so hard to impress her, to make her see me for who i truly am, but it was obvious that she didn't want to see that and that I was just being hurt trying to find her affection.

Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't they see that? I was trying so hard and they were just throwing it back in my face.

I thought they were my friends, but I was so wrong. They only saw me useful to make themselves feel and look better. They never thought about what I wanted, about what I was feeling. The hurt, the pain that they were inflicting on me...That she was inflicting on me.

I've given her so many chances, so many opportunities to see that I wanted to be there for her, but every time I got my hopes up, every time I thought she was going to change she just pushes me aside again. They pushed me aside. 

All of my true friends I've had have moved or I've pushed them away not knowing what I was doing until it was too late, until I was alone again with nobody but myself and my regrets. 

I was alone in this world and all I wanted was a friend, a true friend. I thought that they were those friends. That she was that friend, but I've come to realise that they were never truly there for me.

And this is the end. The end of war.