I Deserve It ( Vic Fuentes )

Casual day

I deserved it.

I always do.

I fucked Angela (my birth giver) her life up.

She had it all planned out she had a college in mind. A husband to be.

A life all set up.

Until I can conceived. I fucked up her entire plan. All with a thrust of the hips from Danny (my sperm donor) I was here.

Angela never failed to remind me how shitty her life was.

She was perfect in every way until me. She had the looks to kill. The naturally deep brown hair that cascaded down her back and a blonde boy she was in love with.But then I was here. I've been reminding her I'm alive for 17 years and she has "reminded me" almost every day of my fuck up.

I have the bruises and broken ribs to keep hidden. When I messed up greatly or got too numb I would request the help of my silver little friend. It was a great way to bring me back.

It did leave little scars along my arms legs and other places. But that's to be expected. I would just hide behind my blonde and blue hair. I would keep myself in a jacket and jeans all day. But it's worth it. Hell no one would believe my mother abused me. She is too good at two faced.

"Victoria your dismissed" my AP English 3 teacher pulled me from my thoughts as I was leaving for my next class. I leave 5 minutes early from my classes and arrive 5 late. No one asks. No one cares.

I leave my class and head to my locker. It's just an average blue locker that holds my text books. Like me just a reminder of a shitty time. My next class is AP calculus. I have to say it's the lesser of four evils.

I stood at the locker as the bell drones on for thirty seconds signalling our five minute release before more torture. I shouldn't be mean to the school. I like it compared to the place I stay commonly referred to as home. I would say love but love doesn't exist. Just the idea of love does. At least for me. I'm incapable of love, I don't deserve love not after I've fucked up a life at negative nine months old.

I walk in my AP Calc class like always going to my back corner to take my seat. It's next to the window so I usually stare away from class. I read our textbook and learn it all in a day when it takes our teacher two or three days to cover the same material.

The schools MVP and "popular" guy Victor Fuentes has finally arrived for class. He has to keep his bad boy image up by showing up late. But I also know he does an extra worksheet a week to make up for it. I'm the only one that knows. He doesn't even know I knew it. He casually strolls to his seat flashing an award winning smile that makes me want to gag. He's happy to be fake. At least I don't fake happiness. I expect the day to be the same till Vic turns around and speaks to me

Attempting to fix his brown wavy hair he asks "so what all I miss?" I have never once spoken to a student so I won't start now. I just shrugged and tapped my paper to gesture to my notes. I take my own notes at home. So I just hand him my book. I'm not a total bitch. I just have a more serious look on life.

"Damn. You take these notes personally ?" he asks I nod. Not knowing what to say. Yes he has done this before but only once or twice so I'm outta my comfort zone. He takes a picture on his phone and hands me my note book back muttering a thanks as he turns around to his friends asking why he talked to me.

The rest of class was a blur of normality. I leave 5 minutes early and head home. I walk home knowing the bus ride isn't my style. It's too loud crowded and walking is better. If I take the bus I'm just burdening the school system with gas to drive down my road and stop. The school system doesn't have time for me. Besides if I walk I can delay the beating ahead. I only got a 89 on my AP english test. Mother acts like school matters. I have to make perfect grades and I quote "leave her life finally". So anything under 90 means I'm not trying and I want to ruin her life more.

Once I walk down my street I get to the two story house with a blue roof and a garden in full bloom. I pick the lock because I left my keys In my room. It's just a skill I picked up. I walk inside and throw my blonde hair up into a pony tail knowing all the work had to be done before 5:30 it's already 4:30. I just had to stop and talk to the homeless people again.

I run upstairs to my bedroom that had walls littered with band posters. I put on my longest pair of basketball shorts and pull off my hoodie to replace it with a band t. Then run downstairs to begin my cleaning of the house.

Usually it isn't bad but when mother and her boy toy have a "fun night" I have to clean it all up. It's wrecked like a frat party internally but it only had an occupancy of two last night.

"VICTORIA!" Is all I needed to hear to throw on my hoodie again. I open my door only to feel the slap of a hand connecting against my cheek.

"The trash can isn't emptied and you should have dumped it into the dumpster. Oh and what's this 89 on a test in English? that's not acceptable" another slap and a jerk that makes me fall. She kicks my rib cage saying to do better and I'm worthless. It hurt so bad I tried to block them only resulting in my arms getting kicked. I never cried out. She always gets mad if I do and she kicks harder. So I keep quiet as I bite my tongue. She leaves because of a phone call downstairs. I hurry up and do the trash can as fast as my sore ribs and arms will allow.

Once finished I run to my room an lock the door. She won't want to see me for the rest of the night since I fucked up again. I just sit in the bed and stare at a wall. I have my earbuds in knowing that my music will calm me down enough from my own mistake. I mean how can I be so stupid as to not check the trash!? it's right after I clean up the marks her car left in the garage. I am so fucking stupid!

I do my homework for my classes and glance at my phone which has 12% battery now. I always listen to music so my phone is never fully charged. I plug my phone in to see the time is already 11:43. I have insomnia so sleep isn't easy to come by. I was actually tired for once so I did all my night time preparations only to let sleep take me for an hour or two.

I'm used to waking up so I usually sit up and draw. It's one thing I love to do. That and computer program. But I can only do it if my tumblr isn't calling my name. I do this throughout the night. Just alternating until my alarm goes off at 5:45 to get up for school.

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Hey so here's the first part. I hope you like it. Yes it's depressing but it's going to get better I promise. Please be patient with me on updating. I have to work and go to school before this. Hope you like it though.