I Deserve It ( Vic Fuentes )

Nightmare.

I roll over to sit up aware that I needed to be careful of my sore ribs. I took a pain killer but it hadn't kicked In. Actually I had took 6 of them so I should feel pretty good soon which means I'll want to talk and being around him talking meant a kid at school would hear me. I began to panic. I opened my window and poked my head out. I climbed over my window sill and crouched down to jump down. It was gonna hurt. Is all I could think until the thought of Fuck it crossed my mind. Guess pain killers are starting to kick in.

I jumped off my roof and mumbled shit underneath my breath as i hit the ground jarring my pained ribs. I held my hand there for a second before dropping it and staring at him. I gave him a look of what do you want.

He laughed and spoke at a low whisper "hey mute. How are ya?" I just blew air out of my nose as if to half heartedly laugh. He smiled brighter

"So she makes noise" he says through a goofy grin that showed off his teeth.

When a gust of wind went by I realised I didn't put on my hoodie. I actually wasn't wearing anything but bra, boxers (because I can) and a tank top. I turn to climb back up when I turn and look. Angela's car isn't here. She must have gone with Danny for the night. Which means I have the house to myself for the weekend. When they leave they leave for days.

The pain killers influencing my decision I almost speak. I shake my head and motion for him to leave. For my safety as well as his. He doesn't need to be around me. He's a good kid with a rep. I'm a chick with no life.

"Oh no. you don't. I'm not leaving. You have a voice. If you want me gone use it." He says standing up to me. I just want him gone. I'm not speaking though. I can't. I keep my grip as my pain killers start to fog my mind. It is becoming hard to clearly think. My pain has subsided at the very least. I shake my head to signal I won't talk. I look at a white flower that you blow on to make a wish. I pick it up with him watching my every move. I close my eyes and wish for him to leave. After blowing all them loose I hear a car pull up. I turn my head to see beside Vics blue mustang is the other Fuentes sibling pulling up in his weird '67 cutlass.

"Vic there you are. Mom heard your car leave but sent me out to get you. She's pissed man come on" mike says warningly to his older brother. I almost smiled at this but fought a smile knowing another student was here. Mike was 16 to my 17 but that didn't change the fact he went to Claremont high.

"Mike, I just need her to say one word and I can leave " Vic said to his brother with a whine in his voice. This made me curious but I couldn't think through the cloud of numb the painkillers have brought upon me. I glance to mike. He had a smirk on his face.

"Just a sound vic?" he cocked an eyebrow to Vic as he asked it. Vic nodded enthusiastically. I got worried. But I knew I wouldn't speak. I had enough sense I keep my mouth shut. Mike walks up to me. He honestly towers over me. I look up to him with a glare. He grabs my arm which is enough pain that I screamed through my closed lips. THAT SON OF A BITCH! I ripped my arm from his grasp and cradled it as the pain was whisked away by the pain killers cloud. It stopped throbbing enough for me to glare at mike. He stood there arms crossed with a smirk.

"There Vic. She made a noise come on. Moms waiting" the damn boy said. Before I had time to react Vic came over to me and grabbed my arm gently as he tried to inspect it. I was now full blown freak out mode. No one can see my arm. I decide to do what I hadn't wanted to do. I say the simple four letter word stop. But I said it with panic as my voice broke over the word. I was fighting tears of pain from mike grabbing my arm.

"There a whine and a damn word you should move twice as fast. Mute isn't so mute now come on Vic." Mike spoke up again. Vic was taken back by me speaking. He stopped to look at me. I guess he saw the panic and hatred In my eyes for he nodded to mike and begins walking towards the house.

"Yeah, guess I win the bet that she can talk hu?" Vic said dryly to mike as he climbed in his car. Mike climbed in his and tore away from the house pissed off. Vic glanced my way as I slid down and curled up into a ball. I can't handle it. I have spoken twice. It was my rule. My number one rule. No one hears me speak. He had twice and mike had once.

Vic shouted to me if I was okay. I decided I needed punishment. I was numb anyways. I needed to be brought back. I got up with no emotion showing on my face and headed up to my room.

I went to wash my sheets. I cut deeper than I anticipated. It was more blood than I thought so it was on my sheets. I threw them in the wash and went to slide my bracelets on my wrists. I have about 20 bracelets total. All bands or obsessions of mine. None repeated each was different and unique. I went back to my room and laid on my blank mattress. I flipped on the TV and let Comedy Central entertain me until the washer was finished.

I got up sluggishly letting myself unwrap from my body pillow. I love to cuddle so I always cuddled my body pillow. It's something I got" with hush money along with a flat screen. Mom doesn't care. She says ill break it one day from being an idiot. I have proved her wrong for a year so far.

The dryer had 60 minutes now. I went back to the futurama marathon.

After curling up under my warm freshly clean blankets I actually felt tired. I closed my eye lids only to feel the onset of a nightmare.

The room was white as always. I felt the chill but knew what this was. My nightmare. Oh shit. I mentally prepare myself for the fears I will be facing. I glance down to see my scars are all turning into scabs. It's going back towards when I cut them. I start to walk towards the only door in this white cube. It was a brown door with a golden bronze door handle. I feel the red liquid run down my arms as my cuts have been reborn. I know soon it will get worse. I'll feel the pain of inflicting them. Taking a deep breath I open the door to see Angela hanging from a rope. Until it morphs from her to Ashley. I gasp realizing this. I rush up to her and feel for the knife in my pocket. It's always there in the dream. I pull it out to see its a razor blade. Oh no. Not this. I hurry and place the chair under her. I climb up it and begin to cut at the rope. Every time I slice at the rope my arm gains a new cut. It hurts so bad. You aren't supposed to feel pain in a dream but I am. I know this pain all too much. I scream out and continue to cut. I deserved this pain she doesn't deserve to die. I cut the rope and she falls to the ground I feel a final cut in my arm deeper than the rest. It hit a vein or artery or something. I see the blood rush down my arm. It's crimson red hitting the floor. I jerk my head away to look at the ground that wasn't holding Ashley. She was gone. Just like last time. I glance back to my arm to see blood still rushing from it. I rip a piece of my shirt and bind it. Then rush through the room to the brown wooden door to open it. I walk in it to see a gun pointed At me. The person holding it was myself. I felt panicked and then the dizziness from blood loss hit me.

I wake up panicked and covered in sweat. My throat horse from the screaming I probably did in my sleep. I felt more exhausted than I had when I went to bed. But I knew better. I would not sleep again that night. I slipped on my shoes and jacket then slipped ear buds in my ear checking the phone that read 2:30 am and headed out the door to clear my head from the nightmare.