love beyond species《tsukkiyama》

05: 思想

思想: thoughts

Tsukkishima Kei walked home alone today, and he couldn't help but wonder where the shorter boy was today. There was the slightest twinge of guilt in his heart about what he did to him. Numerous times he tried to shake the freckled boy's face out of his head, remembering his eyes shining in fear as he looked up at Kei. Tadashi was the only thing he could think about.

He pushed open the door to see his mom, standing there expectantly, waiting with her arms crossed.

"Kei? are you alright? You've been acting really distant lately," she said, putting her hand on his arm. Kei looked down at her hand and gently pried it off of him. 

"I am fine, I assure you," he said, giving her one last look and then stalking past her.

"You can tell me anything, ya know. I'm your mother," she said, dropping the subject and heading to the kitchen to make dinner. Kei ignored her and walked straight into the bathroom. Today was an eventful day and he needed to relax. He stripped off his clothes, set his glasses on the counter, and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water run down his face and body. He scrubbed shampoo into his hair and stood in complete silence for another 10 minutes. He then turned off the tap and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist and walked into his room, sat on his chair, and slipped on a plain grey shirt.

"Kei? Yamaguchi just came over," said his mom," go on upstairs, he should just be in your room."

His brain raced as his thoughts moved to Yamaguchi ever so quickly. He groaned and just opened his laptop, pretending to be studying.

"Hey, Tsukki!" He muttered, peeking through the door and stepping in. Tadashi's eyes wandered to Tsukkishima, and how he was wearing only a towel and a shirt. His cheeks turned a bright red as he diverted his eyes away from him.

"You should probably wear some shorts," Yamaguchi muttered dryly and stepped back out. Tsukki quickly slipped on a pair of shorts and tossed the towel on his head.

"You can come in," said Tsukki, crossing his legs. Yamaguchi stepped in and sat atop Kei's bed.

"Tsukki? Are you sure you're okay? You've never really... Lashed out at me before. Are you going through something? I can help," he said, scooting closer to Kei, and placing a hand on his. Kei's eyes wandered to his hand and he pulled it away from him and hid it behind his back. Yamaguchi's expression dropped, and he looked down at his feet, tears brimming in his eyes.

"I am fine," was all Tsukki said, standing up abruptly," You can leave now."  Yamaguchi stood up slowly, but then grabbed Tsukki by the shirt and stood up to him.

"You're clearly not fine! You're so different! Why are you drifting away from me? I just wanna help you! Can't you see that I'm, I'm in... I..." he yelled. Kei's hand behind his back morphed into a blade, surprised by the sudden outburst, but he couldn't bring himself to hurt the freckled boy, no matter how much he tried. 
 
Tadashi let go of him, staring at the floor in shame as a tear fell to the ground.

"Forget it," he said, walking out of Kei's room. Kei didn't stop him, and he heard Yamaguchi's conversation with his mom.

"Tadashi? Leaving so soon?"

"Yes ma'am, I just... I have some work to catch up on," Yamaguchi explained politely. Kei then heard the opening and shutting of the door, figuring that Yamaguchi had left.

"Kei! Dinner!" his mom called, and he walked down the stairs and sat at the kitchen table. His mom placed a delicious bowl of homemade ramen in front of him, the steam fogging up his glasses. Mrs. Tsukkishima chuckled, clapped her hands together, and dug into her own bowl. Kei copied her and slurped up the noodles.

"Did something happen between you and Tadashi? I could hear your voices from down here," she asked, looking up at her son in concern.

"Nothing. Just debating a math problem," he said, not even looking up at her.

"...Alright," she sighed. She set her chopsticks down and stared at Kei.

"You boys grow up so fast," she said, a single tear streaming down her face. Tsukki, being as stoic as ever, stood and dropped his bowl in the sink and stalked upstairs, without a word of comfort to his mother. He felt a strange feeling in his chest, it made his whole midsection warm. His eyes hurt as well. It was a foreign feeling. One Tsukki- well, the parasyte- had never felt.

After finishing his homework, he had a massive headache, so Kei fell flat on his bed with a thump, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Dream Tsukkishima was himself again. His own feelings, he could control himself. A blob with an eye stood in front of him, blinking twice.

'Human. Tell me what this feeling is. My chest is getting too warm and it is bothering me very much.'

All Dream Tsukkishima could do was give the parasyte a smirk, pushing up his glasses with his middle finger.

'That's love, 'all-knowing parasyte'' he said. He was salty even in his dream sequences.

'That's impossible. I am an emotionless creature,' the parasyte muttered.

'Well, I still control a small portion of your- actually MY- brain. And it just so happens that I have feelings for Yamaguchi. And my own mother for that matter.'

'The freckled boy and the lady...' the parasyte said," and I can't eliminate them either. It would cause too many complications, and would destroy the relations I have.'

'What you did to him earlier was pathetic. I love him. You can't stop me from that, no matter how much control you have over me,' Dream Tsukkishima proclaimed with a smirk. The parasyte racked its brain to find a solution to this situation.

'I doubt you can control this feeling fully," the parasyte countered.

'We'll see about that.' Dream Tsukkishima and the parasyte faded away and the rest of the night was a dreamless, sound sleep.

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