How I like my tea

A Nightmare

Pablo screamed at me "Your sharing his bed?"

"My room was ransacked where else was I supposed to go?" I screamed back, furious that he had started this.

"You could have come with me! Stayed with me! You could have loved me! Married me! You haven't chose that!" He screamed.

He screams at me and I scream at him until I realise there is someone under the table. It is a small boy, maybe only four. I lift him up and place him on my chest. His tears are soaking my top. When he can finally stop crying he says the one thing that breaks my heart.  

"Mummy, why are you and Daddy fighting?"

I woke with a start.

German pushed me down on to the bed, I was in a cold sweat.

"Shhhh... you were dreaming. It was a dream. No need to worry. Shhhh....."

I relaxed my breathing, it was a dream. Not real. Not real.

"Relax, relax. You had quite the night mare but you are okay."

It takes me a moment to register everything and then I burst into tears. I'm sobbing uncontrollably. German lifts me up in a bridal fashion and sits me on his lap with my head buried in his shoulder. He rubs my back in small circles and whispers into my ear.

"It was a nightmare."

"It was not real."

"It will never happen to you."

" I will never let anything happen to you."

It takes me a while to calm myself. The dream really scared me. My mum was right, I can't accept hurting the other.

German was going to put me down but I clung to him. I didn't want to go back to sleep.

"I'm only going to lie you down, I'm right next to you."

He lifts me off of him and lies me on the bed. He did not pull me towards him, so instead I grabbed his arms and wrapped them around my waist like he had done voluntarily last night.

"I wasn't going to do that because I figured you probably have a normal sleeping position that you'd prefer, I want you to be comfortable."

He began running his fingers through my hair and my eyes began to droop again.

"I want you to sleep conformably, in any way you like" he whispers.

I know that any moment I will drop off completely so I reassure him.

"This is my all time favourite sleeping position."