Rantings of a Broken One-Sided Love Affair

Still Broken

Hey, you.

Yes, it's me again. I don't know where to start. Do you know now that you're the one I'm talking about? I'm hoping, partly, that you know, and partly, not. I just don't know if I'm ready for that.

What are you thinking? Do I even cross your mind every once in a while, like I do? My heart is bursting with sadness, I miss you already.

My heart deeply hopes that you also think of me. I hope the places we've been, or I have been, will remind you of me. I still deeply hope that when you touch the things I've touched, you'll remember that I've touched them, too. I'm wishing that when you look in the mirror, you'll see me, instead of you.

Why does it have to be this way? Is it your fault, for being around me, or mine, for being around you? My heart longs deeply for you; I still remember you.

Are you still willing to talk to me? Will you be mine? I still cannot fathom the idea of you avoiding me. I can't see you in love with another; you have to be mine. I have thoughts of us being together. I have thoughts of touching you, making you feel loved. But alas, life is cruel.

I lit an incense in the bath and wondered, what are you thinking? The incense should help me relax, but I think it did the opposite. I poured cold water over myself, but it fell hot over my feet.

You took my heart from me. You rocked my world. You ruined my peace. And I cannot take it back. So you have to feel everything that I feel, too.

Why do you have to be so hard on me? Why can't I feel your love? Why can't you give me the attention I desire? Why are you destroying my life? Why are you corrupting my thoughts? Why are you confusing me?

I already left you, but it's still you I desire. I hope your absence will help me recover, but I just know that the moment I see you again, I'll fall for you all over again. You were the reason I came, you're the reason I stayed, and you're the reason why I leave.

I hope I occupy your thoughts, too. I hope that I broke your silence, too. I hope that your heart still pines for me, even though I'll be away this time. I hope this letter will help me recover from this emotional mess. My heart cries for you. I long to hear your voice. I long to see your face. I still long to be with you.

Why can't we be together? Why won't you come and ask me? I still love you, why can't I recover? I still crave for your love and attention.

Yes, you won. You got me, and you still have my heart.

Can I hug you? Just for a while.