Rantings of a Broken One-Sided Love Affair

Confused

Hey, I'm back.

So, do you already have an idea that you're the one I'm talking about? Maybe being away from you really helped me (I don't freak out that much whenever you're around), but still, my emotions remain and I still pine for you.

I want to hit my head on the wall everytime I think about you. Why do you confuse me so? I waited for you. I wanted you to talk to me, to spend time with me. And the more you give that to me, the more I long for you. Is it not enough that you already have my heart? Do you enjoy playing with how I feel? The deeper I fall for you, the more you remain in my mind. My heart cries the moment I see you, and again when I leave you. But you do understand that I'm crazy now, and leaving you is to keep my sanity in check?

Why does it have to be so hard? Do you even think about me this way? You sat beside me, you talked to me like you haven't for the longest time. You looked at me, smiled and laughed and talked... And these moments I cherish. And want to happen again. And again. And again. Until I find myself longing for even more from you.

It's hard for me to let go of this feeling, and like I said, leaving you is to find my peace. But why is it that everytime I see you, everything I worked so hard for just vanishes in an instant? I cry because I can't even hold you.

I stood beside you and you talked to me. I was so glad, my heart could cry. I couldn't control my emotions: I realized I'm human and am very fragile. I freaking hate myself for freaking out. Am I that noticeable?

I can't take this. You already have my heart. I love you giving me what I want. I want more, but I have to keep my sanity intact.

You have my heart in your hand, and I'm waiting for you.

You got me.