Connor Rhodes: Picture Message Attached.
Connor Rhodes: I thought I'd remind you what you were missing this morning.
Ethan Choi sucked in a deep breath, his dark eyes widening as the image of a topless Connor Rhodes filled his screen. That carefree smile was on his handsome features, those smoldering blue eyes fixed on the screen, seemingly starring right at Ethan through time and space. His left arm was tucked underneath his head, revealing his muscular bicep and the curve of his intricate tattoo. Ethan remembered how it felt underneath his fingertips as his tongue flicked across Connor's collarbone before delving lower...
Jesus, Connor was not going to make this easy on him. Already he could feel the steely walls he had erected this morning beginning to crumble as he stood in the doctor's lounge, starring at the picture, shifting uncomfortably as that feverish heat spread through him. He knew how this was supposed to go and he wanted it so badly. He wanted to play this game, to engage with the other man with flirty, deviant texts but he couldn't. He knew what sexting would lead to and just because he had been able to pull away this morning didn't mean he would again. He had spent months trying to avoid his own bad behaviors. His sessions with Doctor Charles were helping with the PTSD but it was always there scratching at the surface. Connor didn't know about that side of him, there weren't many people that did. He knew as soon as the other man took a look at that darkness that he would run a mile and who could blame him? That level of damage wasn't what he had signed on for and it was unfair to expect that level of commitment so Ethan so badly needed. So he had decided to pull the plug before he become too invested. It would be better for the both of them in the long run.
Ethan swiped past the image in his screen before tapping out the hardest text message he had ever had to send.
Connor, he wrote. This was a mistake.
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It had been hours since Connor had read that text and he still couldn't get it out of his head. of all the responses that he had been expecting that one had been the very last. He was hurt and just a little confused about what had changed between the two of them in the hours between falling asleep holding one another last night and their shifts this morning. Ethan had made it clear he didn't want to talk, anytime they had bumped into each other he had been cool, polite and professional. He was never in one place long enough for Connor to get him alone and he was beginning to find that infuriating. To him last night had been about more than just sex, there was an intimacy in Ethan's touch, one that he knew he hadn't mistaken. The other man had been careful and tender when they had made love, the words he uttered into Connor's ear were born of passion and something that went far deeper.
Which brought him back to his original question. What the hell had changed?
He stood on the opposite side of the main desk in the E.D, his dark eyebrows furrowed as he studied Ethan with an analytical eye. His arms were folded over his broad chest, a pen clicking compulsively under his thumb as Ethan continued his examination of the patient in Treatment Room 4. His movements were graceful, his motions almost elegant as he directed the patient through the movements he wanted the other man to accomplish. In the E.D he was in his element, it was as if nothing could touch him.
"You are staring."
He hadn't heard Doctor Charles approaching but then again that wasn't surprising, for a large man Daniel Charles could be deceptively stealthy when he wanted to be. Connor allowed his gaze to drop to the paperwork in front of him, the pen still clicking underneath his finger.
"I'm just waiting for Doctor Choi to finish up with his patient so that I can give him this consult." he informed the other man, pretending to busy himself by shuffling the paper in front of him.
"Is that why you are organising those patient admittance forms?" Doctor Charles asked causing Connor to actually read the first line of the A4 sheets he was clasping in his hands.
"It is something I like to do..." Connor said feebly before setting the papers down and turning his head towards Doctor Charles before finally admitting. "He's ignoring me."
"Did you do something?" Doctor Charles asked him, tilting his head and studying Connor's clenched jaw.
The younger man's attention was completely focused on the doctor on the opposite side of the desk as he went about his routine inspection of his patient. There was a yearning in those eyes of his, it was so acute that Daniel felt a pang in his chest as his gaze shifted from Doctor Rhodes to Doctor Choi and then back again. Oh to be young and in love again, he thought.
"Not that I'm aware of." Connor said, slowly clicking the pen to a tune that only he could hear. It was a sign of stress, an irritating one but he let the other man continue, it wasn't every day that you saw Doctor Rhodes buckle under pressure. He was a problem solver at heart, his thoughts logical and direct. It would explain why the other man was having so much trouble with Ethan. The other man was like a Rubix Cube, it had taken them months to make any progress in their sessions, but it had been worth it when they did. Ethan was happier, healthier and more open in most parts of his life. His romantic life apparently being the exception.
"He giving you the silent treatment?" Doctor Charles questioned. "I used to get that all the time from him, I think it's a Navy thing mostly..."
He trailed off as Connor turned his head towards the other man, his vibrant blue eyes fixating on Daniel's. He could tell that Doctor Rhodes was trying to figure out what to divulge despite the fact it was as plain as day to Doctor Charles that the two men had been intimate. The way that Connor looked at Doctor Choi spoke volumes, it was a softer expression, one that you harbored for a lover rather than a colleague. He didn't expect that anyone else had noticed, the E.D was busy today and everyone was ambling around in their own little worlds trying to make sense of what was going on around them.
"The thing with Doctor Choi is, he is very much a closed book and trying to read that book will take a lot of patience, if you get my drift." Doctor Charles said pointedly.
"I do." Connor agreed, before uncrossing his arms and rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "The thing is I may have already skipped a few chapters and now I don't really know how to proceed from there."
Doctor Charles smiled knowingly. He understood a thing or two about rushing ahead, part of falling in love was getting caught up in the moment.
"Maybe start from the beginning." Doctor Charles advised. "A man like Ethan..."
He paused before selecting his words carefully to ensure he didn't break his patient's trust.
"...he's a man of action. You have to show him that you want to be there in his life, that you care about him with or without the fairy tale ending, because you can bet he doesn't believe in them."
There was a silence between the two of them for a second while Connor absorbed that information. There were layers to what Doctor Charles was saying and Connor waded through them drawing his own conclusions.
Did Ethan think he was unworthy of happiness? Was this what it was all about?
There was something deeper there, a connection he wasn't making and as frustrating as he found it, he knew he would have to let it sit for a while.
"You know this has to stay between us right?" Connor spoke finally, his vibrant blue gaze, serious as he gestured between the two of them with his forefinger.
"Oh." Doctor Charles agreed,nodding sagely as he too picked up the pile of papers in front of them and started to straighten them. "Without a doubt."
