The waiting room was quiet, Connor had never noticed just how quiet until he was sitting there in one of the lime green, half moon chairs it housed. He could hear the thudding of his own pulse in his ears as he hunched over, his hands clasped together as if in prayer. The knot of dread in his stomach was winding tighter and tighter with every passing moment and he knew the longer that Ethan spent in surgery the less chance he had of coming out of that O.R alive.
Connor was far from a religious man, he'd had a Catholic upbringing initially due to his mother 's propensity but after she had committed suicide, the notion of their being a higher being, heaven and hell... He had allowed that to die with her. He couldn't stand thought of his mother being cast below for choosing to escape a life that had left her trapped and hopeless. A religion that advocated that had no room in his life.
However it was moments like this that forced him to fall back into old habits. Times when he felt like he was losing his grasp on the world, in the faith he had in other people. So it was in rare moments like this that he prayed. He didn't know what deity he was hailing to, he'd come across many over the years that he had spent travelling, he simply called out to them all begging them to come through for him and ensure that Ethan stayed alive.
The awful truth was that Connor couldn't see much of a life without the other man. If he was honest with himself he hadn't for months, somewhere in all the passion and the intimacy he had fallen recklessly in love with the other man and now he was terrified of losing him. He raked his hands through his black hair, his fingertips kneading his scalp as he tried to relieve some of the pressure that was building inside of him. He felt like a powder keg that was slowly being filled, one pouch of gun powder at a time. After Will had brought Ethan back in the treatment room he had managed to pull himself together and maintained a mask of calm. It was something he had learned whilst dealing with his father, his teenage years had been rife with expectation and he had spent the majority of his life forcing himself to grin and bear it.
Old habits... he thought.
He'd forgotten about them in his time with Ethan. He wasn't judged for who he was and he drew strength from the other man in a way he knew he couldn't explain to anybody else. Ethan brought out the very best version of Connor Rhodes, the one that cared deeply for the people around him, that would do anything for his Tribe. Somewhere along the way he had learned to shed the selfishness and the baggage he carried. He had become a person that he was actually proud of and there was no doubt in his mind that that was because of Ethan.
The sound of his name being called drew Connor from his thoughts, he rose his head to find himself staring at the man he hated the most in the entire world. That temper inside of him was flaring, he could feel the powder keg igniting as he rose to his feet in one swift movement, drawing himself up to his full height, his vibrant blue eyes flashing.
"Dad..." he drawled through clenched teeth. "What are you doing here?"
Cornelius Rhodes was only a few inches taller that his son, however he still looked down on him as if he was nothing more than a mild irritation. Despite the fact they had been estranged for a number of years he had always believed that one day his son would see sense and learn humility, he had thought that he'd be able to welcome him back into the fold with open arms. Instead Connor seemed to be on a mission to become the biggest pain in the ass humanly possible. He'd taken a trauma fellowship at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the city, right under his very nose he may add and proceeded to make him look like an idiot time and time again with the board and by extension some of the people he had spent a lot of time trying to impress. His son getting caught up in a shooting at the hospital where he worked would make the Rhodes family the topic of conversation for weeks, it looked heroic, like he had come from good stock, it lent a certain reputation to the family name. His son being in love with one of the victims...
Well that left a bad taste in everybody's mouth.
In his world, you grew up, worked hard, enjoyed your money and then married richer. Afterward you'd pop a couple of kids out in order to keep the family name going. That was life in a nutshell. However Connor had just thrown a major spanner in the works. One that people were going to be talking about for months if Cornelius didn't figure out a way to get it back under control. Having a doctor in the family was one thing, the profession was highly respectable after all and Connor was very much at the top of his field. However having a dalliance with a man...
Boys would be boys, he understood that people experimented. He expected it was part of trying to find your place in the world but this appeared to be far more than that. Connor had used the word love and that was not a term the Rhodes family threw around, if this was a relationship his son would have to end it. He dreaded what the boys at the country club would be saying next time they went for a round of golf.
"I had to talk to you about this man." Cornelius began, his look pointed as Connor crossed his arms over his broad chest.
"Ethan." Connor told his father with a glacial tone. "His name is Ethan."
"You must know how it reflects on the family." Cornelius told his son, his coal black eyes boring into the depths of his Connor's spirited blue ones. To his credit Connor didn't flinch, he simply stared back before pursing his lips together, his nostrils flaring as he tried to get a grasp on his temper.
"Since when was my private life any of your concern?" Connor hissed, venom dripping from every single one of his words. "You didn't give a shit about me until you found out about Ethan. If you had really meant what you said when I first got back, you would be coming here to support me instead your here giving me hell because I'm in love with a man."
There was silence for a moment as his words rang loud and clear in the air. For the first time in what felt like forever Cornelius actually took the time to look at his son. His eyes were red rimmed with dark circles making his pale features look even more sallow in the florescent light. His thick dark hair was unkempt, falling over his face at a multitude of angles. His burgundy scrubs were creased from where he had spent hours hunched over in them. For Cornelius it was time for Connor to make a choice, his family or his rebellion. He had had enough of being undermined by his son's behavior.
"Connor, this man, the one you 'love'." the world felt alien on Cornelius's tongue as he spoke, he paused for a moment, grimacing as if he had experienced something unpleasant. "Is he really worth throwing away your family name?"
Connor didn't even have to consider the answer, he tilted his head up, meeting his father's heavy gaze with an unflinching stare of his own.
"Yes."
