The Chicago skyline was wrought with dark clouds, shrouding the city with an ominous gloom as Ethan stared at it from his place on the rooftop of the hospital. He could see rain in the distance and he knew it wouldn't be long before the dour weather was upon them. Both his shoulder and his chest were aching, he could feel that irritating itch under the fabric of the light grey Pirate Panda t-shirt and clenched the handrail even harder in an attempt not to scratch it. They were all signs that his body was healing from the shooting over a fortnight ago. His left arm was still in the white sling, clasped against his body so that he didn't damage the muscles any further.
The flesh that had been seared by the bullets was beginning to knit together. Ethan would still carry the scars of that day for the rest of his life but it was a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things. He was just happy to be alive. There was no doubt in his mind of how close he had come to death, the thought of that scared him just enough for him to get his shit together and stop living in the past.
The cat was out of the bag in terms of him and Connor and Ethan had to admit he was content that they didn't have to hide it anymore. The reaction from his colleagues was supportive and endearing, Ethan wasn't sure why he had dreaded it so much. He had always been a private person and there had been a part of him that felt like he was protecting Connor by keeping his lips sealed. The other man's father had had the potential to make both of their lives a misery and Ethan had no doubt that Cornelius Rhodes had his ear to the ground as far as his son was concerned. Connor had been brief upon relaying the argument the two of them had had whilst he was in surgery, Connor's father had threatened to disown him and this time Connor thought he would make good on that threat. Reese had been the one that had filled him in on the brutality of it. Connor had never told him that Cornelius had told him to choose and according to Sarah there had been no hesitation when he picked Ethan. He wasn't sure how to feel about that, on one side he was grateful that Connor valued their relationship so much and on the other...
He wished it hadn't have to have been a choice.
Ethan had to admit though, the sneaking around had had an aphrodisiac effect upon the two of them, there were nights when they'd barely gotten over the threshold before they were on each other. It had taken weeks for the rug burns to heal last time. He smiled at that memory, imagining Connor's soft hands raking through his hair, gripping it tightly as his tongue swirled around the tip of his lover's hard cock before he took it even deeper into his mouth. The sound that Connor made when he came had been enough to tip Ethan over the edge.
Ethan missed those moments. The two of them had been hadn't been intimate in nearly a month and if Ethan was honest it was killing him. He craved Connor in ways that were profound, the need was relentless and urgent and he wanted nothing more than to hear his name on his lover's lips as he drove the other man to completion. Physically he wasn't up to that and Connor was more aware of that than anyone. When things got heated between the two of them, he was always the first to pull away, always conscious of how much it could hurt Ethan if they took those deviant kisses any further. That frustrated Ethan more than he cared to admit. He was used to being an active participant in their love making and he hated not being able to touch Connor the way he wanted to.
"I thought I'd find you up here."
Ethan glanced over his shoulder to see Will approaching, in his freckled hands he held two cardboard take away cups. He came to stand alongside Ethan, putting one on top of the ledge in front of him. Ethan took it gratefully, sipping the cup tentatively before smiling against the rim.
"It looks like my secret is out." he said tipping his cup knowingly towards Will.
"I get why it's your 'feel good' drink." Will responded, resting his back against the barrier, his elbows resting upon the metal handrail. "And it's better than turning to alcohol at the end of a hard day."
"Depends on who your drinking with." Ethan said with mirth as Will nodded his head in agreement.
They fell into a relaxed silence. it was clear that the other man had something on his mind, he could see it in the way Will's shoulders sagged as he stared into the depths of his coffee cup. Ethan took a slug of the hot chocolate as he waited for Will to speak.
"How did you know?" Will asked quietly. "To take that risk with Connor."
"The heart wants what the heart wants." Ethan said cryptically.
The way he felt about Connor, it was for them and them alone. When he'd kissed Connor that night it hadn't been about taking risks, it had been about instinct, about loving someone so much you got swept away in every single aspect of them.
"I thought my feelings for Nat would go away now that I'm living with Nina." Will admitted, raising his head towards the heavens as if praying for strength. "But I just can't seem to let her go."
"When you feel that way for someone..." Ethan revealed, turning his attention back to the Chicago skyline. "...it's not something you can just let go of. You need to be honest with yourself."
"I guess I need to talk to Nina." Will sighed, cradling the warm cardboard coffee cup against his chest.
"Yea," Ethan said, his gaze fixated on the storm that was brewing in the distance. "I guess you do."
