"Ethan. It's really good to see you..."
It was that smile that tore up Ethan's insides. It was sweet, genuine and earnest, things that he had always associated with Doctor Kristopher Delaney during their time together. He meant what he said, Ethan had been able to see it in those expressive blue eyes of his as he took in his former lover with an ache that seared through through the very fabric of his being.
He hadn't known who had taken over his position in the E.D while he recovered from his injury. At the time he had been focusing on getting better and improving his mobility. He wanted to come back to his job full time but to do that he had to take the time to salvage the physical strength that had left him in those months after the shooting.
Today had been the first day of his phased return, he was bound by the advisory board to return for only a handful of hours a day in order to build up his stamina once more. The knowledge of that pissed him off, he hated not being at full capacity. His mind had been full of that when Goodwin had summoned his temporary replacement. He hadn't paid attention when the door to Sharon's office had swung open. It was only when he'd stood up to greet his new counterpart that he found himself staring at the remnants of a past that he had put far behind him.
It had been a three years since he had last laid eyes on Kris Delaney and those final moments...
Ethan couldn't bear to think of them.
The other man looked healthier this time around, he'd gained some weight in the time they had been apart. His lean form was now more muscular, a tiny, black glimmer of those small inked crows that Ethan knew he had tattooed on his chest peeked out from the v-neck of the burgundy scrubs that he wore. He was clean shaven these days, his once wild, strawberry blond curls were tamed back into a neat cut that Ethan recognized from their days together in the military. The dark circles that he had once become accustomed to seeing were long gone, despite the fact he'd already been on shift for twelve hours, the other man looked fresh and well rested.
It would take a lifetime for him to forget the anguish in the former medic's clean cut features when Ethan had told him he was leaving. Seeing those brilliant blue eyes of his lined with tears had broken something deep down inside of Ethan. That guilt was there, pressing down on his chest and suffocating him as he gazed at Kris with a heavy ache that had reigniting in the very bottom of his heart.
He reminded himself he'd had to leave, that no one could live with something like that. After the last time those bruises they had taken weeks to fade. He could still remember staring into the mirror at his parent's house, studying the black imprints that marred his throat and wondering if he had done the right thing. He would never be able to forget that night, nor the others that had led up to the main event. It hadn't been the first time it had happened but Ethan had made sure it had been the last.
"Doctor Choi." Sharon Goodwin started cautiously, glancing between the two men standing in the center of her office. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Yea." Ethan started, his gaze fixated on Kris's elegant features, unable to tear himself away from the sight of his former lover. "Maybe I have."
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There was an old Nike box that Ethan kept memories from his earlier years in the Navy. It was situated at the very back right hand corner of wardrobe since he had moved into this apartment over two years ago now. He used a damp cloth to wipe off the fine layer of dust that had settled upon the lid before setting it down on the coffee table in front of him.
His shift had ended over two hours ago and he had spent the whole duration of it with his body running through the motions as his brain tried to process the fact Kris had now walked right back into his life. He was struggling to make sense of it, coming back to this box was a compulsion, an urge that he found himself unable to control.
He lifted the lid off the box with nimble fingers before setting it aside and peering at the contents. There was handful of trinkets, souvenirs from the ports they'd docked in along with the Polaroid photographs from that old camera that Kris had carried with him whenever they'd gotten shore leave. It had been an age since he had opened this box and now he was flooded with memories from what felt like a lifetime ago.
The picture he held in his hand was one from their early days, when their ship had docked on one of the Islands and they'd been granted shore leave. The two of them had been at one of the bars, not far from the beach when Kris had asked for one of the bartenders to take their picture. Kris had slung his arm around Ethan's shoulders, drawing him in so close that he inhaled the sweet scent of coconut lotion upon the other man's skin. They'd been together almost a year at that point, talking about moving in once their tour was over. He remembered how they'd made love on the beach that night, the crashing of the waves echoing in his ears as they took their time underneath the moonlit sky. Afterwards they'd held hands, lying amongst their jumble of clothes as they stared up at the bright stars as they pin pricked the nighttime sky.
Ethan's thumb soothed over the creases in the picture, ghosting over Kris's jaunty smile. It wasn't long after that, that the two of them had been assigned to Afghanistan.
Things had never been the same between them.
Ethan placed the picture gingerly inside the Nike box before replacing the lid and putting it into the wardrobe, on the top shelf, right at the back where it belonged.
