him (d.h) (completed)

he comes home(12.)

hurt.
do you ever feel so much hurt that you're almost cemented to the bed?
i still can't get over the fact you had sex with Phil in our bed.
my heart sinks to the floor
i hear a door slam.
Phil shouldn't be home yet, he's out with Tyler; trying to work things out with him.
Tyler already told me though, it's over and done with for them.
Who could it be then?

"Phil?!" I hear your voice. my vocal chords lose all function, and i cry out, and start sobbing

you're home

"Amelia..darling?" I hear you yell, i just keep sobbing.
i can't move
i can barely breathe
i want to forgive you, i want to hug you kiss you and bathe in your scent and feel you next to me. i want you
another part of me wants to hate you, hit you, make you feel like i have for the last few days.
i can't breathe without gasping for air now.

you come running in and turn on the light, so i close my eyes, the light burns my stinging eyes.

"Amelia.." i hear your voice getting closer, and i feel you sit on our bed.

the bed you fucked Phil in

i want to tell you no as you flick the lights off again and move closer towards me and put your hand on my hip.

it belongs there

but, again i want to say no as you slip your hands up my night shirt,
i wanted to say no as i felt you sit up and heard your shirt fall on the floor; and heard you take off your belt and slide your jeans down.

but you're so intoxicating, once i get a little bit of you, i can't get enough

i wanted to say no as you slipped your hands over to my shorts, pulling them off, leaving me wearing nothing but panties,

i hated and loved that night. i wanted to say no at the beginning, all i could think of was the way you must have touched Phil.
He obviously enjoyed it rough, you don't care for rough, or don't prefer having it rough all the time

i didn't sleep all that night either, i was so scared that you would have left me. i didn't want you leaving me again. i wasn't going to let it happen

you gave me such a light, i felt like i couldn't ever let that go.

I saw the ray of light as Tyler opened our door.

"is he awake?" he had asked, i nodded and rolled over, turning on my bedside table light.

"I'm going to shower" i announced. you looked shocked, seeing me in the way i was, i suppose you didn't realize how skinny i'd gotten when we made love, too into the moment.
you stared at me for a few minutes as i grabbed my robe, Tyler didn't care that i was naked, he's helped me a lot too, we're good enough friends
but he couldn't stand seeing you naked, he threw you your boxers.
"Amelia.." you said, looking me up and down.
Although I thinned out, i still had D cups and a medium sized ass, but my stomach had became really tiny, and all my weight went to either my thighs or my breast or butt, i guess that's ideal for you, isn't it?
"hm?" i replied, not looking at you as i tied my robe tightly around my waist, making sure i was completely covered from my shoulders to the top of my thighs.
"please... keep the bathroom door open.." you asked.
i didn't answer, but when i went to the bathroom to shower, i closed the door and locked it.

-

i washed my hair first, soothingly rubbing the conditioner in my hair as i listened to you and Tyler's conversation, i couldn't help but eves drop, it beats having Tyler having to repeat it.

"you hurt us, a lot" Tyler said, gloomily.

"i know," you said, "i'm an idiot, but i needed to know."

"know what, Dan?" Tyler was getting angry, i could tell by the tone of voice

"what, Tyler?" you snapped. i heard you take a sigh.

"Amelia's not going to let you go, she cares too much about you." Tyler replied to you

that's the truth, i still haven't let you go.

"i don't deserve her"  you said, your voice was shaky. "but Phil, Phil wanted me to have sex with him. he built up the tension, all i did was touch his knee to try and find the remote."

i heard your voice break

"i do-don't know how we ended up fucking" You we're crying now

"he says you provoked him, that you flirted" Tyler is calm, revealing everything i wanted to say, wanting to ask, and find out the answers to.

"he did it. he flirted with me. simple as that." you replied. you wailed and started sobbing

i couldn't believe what i was hearing
i never thought of what your side of the story would have been.

i rushed out of the shower and before even drying off, and ran into your arms, sobbing, and continuously saying "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" over and over

"baby girl," you said, holding me tight, you hadn't called me that in so long. i missed it. i missed you. "i'm sorry. i don't know why i couldn't just open my eyes, you're all that i need, and all that i want," you paused "i love you"

i missed hearing those words come out of your mouth, i loved the way you said them.

"I love you" was all i could choke out, then i passed out in his arms.

~
i woke up, clothed, my body dry but my hair still damp.
i was wearing your clothes, i knew just from the scent of them.

you were holding me, whispering although, to Phil.

"I never meant to hurt her" you whispered, you then ran your fingers through my hair.

"thanks for fucking up my relationship" was all Phil whispered back.

"you provoked him, Phil." Tyler whispered, I could hear the harshness in his words.

"whatever." Phil sighed

"No, not whatever, you couldn't take the fact that you couldn't have what you wanted and you took advantage of the situation, so don't 'whatever' me. this is all your fault and you know it" Tyler snapped and it made me jump, so they knew i was awake now, but they probably knew that i heard most of their conversation.

"yes, Phil. you have to at least take some responsibility, although Dan did have sex with you, you're the one that wanted it."
i replied, Phil looked shocked and you just held me tight.

Phil walked off.

"so where does that leave us?" you asked

"i love you. i forgive you" i replied

Tyler smiled through his watery eyes

(1156 words)