My Hater, My Lover (Book One)

Chapter 44 - Hurt Me Till The End (Miguel)

The police arrived and it was swirl of events. I remember being in court. Bruce testified against me. I understand that he did.

I hadn't expected that Robert defended me though.

The case came down that although Charlotte had died due to criminal negligence on my part, I hadn't killed her, as she had already been mentally unstable.

So I was just given 2 years in prison.

 I remember sitting in the defendant's seat, watching my mother's face fall apart when the decision was made.

Prison was miserable. There was nothing to do but just thinking about all the mistakes I had mad in my life.

Any pain I felt from my breakup with Eron were drowned out by the miserable of having lost Charlotte forever.

 The first time Robert came to visit me, months later, I had some hope.

We chatted lightly for a bit.

 "How is it in there?" He asked.

"Shittier than school," I joked. "The food is the same though."

Robert tried to laugh but it felt forced.

 "Does Eron know what happened?" I asked him, sitting on the other side of the glass window. Robert's face darkened. 

"That day, when you called the police? Yah, he never came back to school. It was pretty weird..."

I held the phone to my ear. 

"Did something happen to him?" I asked, thinking he might have killed himself as well. My insides felt all messed up.

Robert shook his head. He looked like he wanted to say thing but he changed his mind. 

"No, he's fine. I saw him once, at the movie theatre," Robert said.

My hand relaxed. 

"Did he ask for me?" I said, despite myself. My voice cracked a bit.

 "....No," Robert sighed. "He made eye contact with me and ignored me."

 I held the phone to my ear and I felt like all the hope inside left. Just like that. I think Robert saw it in my eyes. 

 "He was with that kid who stole your phone. They were on a date. They were holding hands, if you were gonna ask me how I knew they were on a date." 

 I stared at him shocked, like someone had kicked me hard. In the gut.

 "I guess he really had been cheating on you," Robert said, almost cruelly. "That, or you had really just been the side thing."

 "...why are you telling me this?..." I whispered. I closed my eyes. I regretted asking. How was I going to live with myself, in this hellhole, with nothing to do but thinking about what I had just heard.

 "You need to hear this...No, you deserve to hear this. I'm telling you as a friend who cares about you." Robert said solemning.  

 "Believing he might come to see me was all that had been keeping me together," I said softly into the phone. I felt a tear roll down my face.

Robert looked at me like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

 "I told you, nothing good was going to come from liking him," Robert scolded me.

 "...I was happy with him," I whispered. Robert didn't look convinced. 

"Yet Charlotte turned up dead in your bed. Your own bed. Right, tell me how happy y'all must have been."  

 I cried in front of Robert. Robert looked pained to see me cry but he said nothing, just allowed me to cry.

 That was the first and only time he ever visited me. 

The years went by slowly and dully. Something inside me died that day. I lost the will to do anything with my life. I really did feel like a true loser, for once in my life.

My mother visited me seldomly. It was painful for her to watch me behind glass. I refused to share my pain with her. It distanced us. And I never told her about Eron. I couldn't. She had never known about him and I wanted to keep it that way.

The day came that I was finally released. I had enough cash in my pocket to get home. I rode the bus to downtown. There was no where to go. I didn't want to go home anymore, now that I was free. I didn't know how I was going to feed myself. I hadn't finished high school, all my classmates had graduated and moved on with their lives. 

My only friend had lost contact with me. The only other two people who had cared about me had died and the other had disappeared the day I went to prison.

I laughed at my situation. I didn't even have the energy to get off the bus. I just sat on the bus and rode it circles around the city, watching the night fall.

 It was night and that's when I met the second love of my life.

End of "My Hater, My lover" .