Narrator: Hamlet returns in secret and arranges a meeting with his mother.
Mother: Hamlet, why have you returned and where are your friends? Also, please put some clothes on.
Hamlet: Mother, this is what they call a swimming suit. For swimming. In the lakes. Can you believe that? Also, .... I've got no friends, mother. Oh, and also, Jimmy is planning to kill me. I think I'm forgetting someone. Was it apples? No, wait, I got it. Jimmy killed my father, too.
Mother: (gasp) I cannot believe this! No, I don't believe you, son. I believe in your new father!
Hamlet : No! He is not my father. He is a backstabbing apple.
Narrator: Really? That's the best you can do.
Mother: Don't use such language son! Where did you learn it from?
Narrator: (straight face, boi's mother)
Hamlet: From the "friends" I just killed.
Mother: If they teach you such language then they deserve to die.
Hamlet stabs wall
Mother: Why did you do that son?
Hamlet: because someone was listening to our conversation.
Mother: (sigh) Murder is not the way son. It's never the way...
Hamlet: Oh, well,...Let's just dispose of the body.
Mother: Son....I give up on you.
Hamlet : Not you too! First father then you. I am depressed now. (Sigh) 😔
Mother : (sigh) 😔
(Walk outside)
(Mother faints)
Hamlet: Guards! The old man is trying to kill the queen! I killed him!
(Guards come and remove queen and old man)