Lost at Loves

New home for Love

***Kayla's POV***

We arrive at the Asking Alexandria house and Danny plops me down all the BVB boys are gone except andy, assuming he's here for PC.

"We have five beds and one couch" Cam says

"Dibs on Kayla!" Danny yells hugging me. Ben shoots him death stare

"I'm not sleeping with a fat man" I joke

''Hey!" he says pretending to be offended "It's all cotton balls. Besides Ben likes it" He says making a gay sex joke.

"I want her too" Ben, James and Sam all say at once.

"Hey! There's only so much of me to go around'' I try to joke off the overwhelming feeling.

"Mind if I steal someones bed? If it's okay, Petite Cookie and I can share a bedroom'' Andy offers

"Take mine. I don't sleep much anyways" Cam shrugs

"Who has the comfiest bed?'' I ask

''I do" Ben pipes up first.

''Cool. Hey roomie" I laugh.

We all sit around watching family guy and messing around. After all the crap today, maybe it's turning up.

When night came around I didn't really know what to do for pajamas.

"We can take you girls shopping tomorrow" Ben says awkwardly. "You want one of my shirts"

I look down to see what I am wearing. I normally get hot at night so I take of my shirt and climb into bed with jean shorts and a bra on. I slid to the very edge of the bed, I really don't want to get in Ben's way. I drift off to sleep very quickly.

***Kayla's dream***

I watched my dad down a bottle of vodka.

"What you staring at?" He slurs

"Nothing" I say trying not to cry. He gets up and runs at me

"No dad!" I cry out running down the small hallway. I start to run up the steps but he grabs my ankle making me slam my head into the steps.

"I hate you" He yells taking a swig off Jack Daniels Whisky. He hits we with the bottle making glass and whiskey spill all over my body

"You spilled my boos" He says. I am fighting to stay conscious. He takes another good swing.

***Awake state***

I sit up in my bed screaming. Ben wakes up and tries to calm me down. Petite Cookie runs in to my side.

I stop screaming.

"Nightmares" She explains to everyone "She get them all the time" she shoos everyone out of the room.

"Kayla" Ben says touching my arm. I flinch. He shrinks away "you okay"

"Fine" I say more bitter than I should've "go back to bed''

Once I hear Ben snoring lightly I sneak out and go downstairs. I find a serrated knife and cut deep slashes under my bra.

"Kayla?" Ben says flicking on the light. I quickly cover my cuts with my arms

"I'm a sucker for midnight snacks" I say trying to hold back tears. He agrees and pulls out a banana. I can't hold it in anymore, I burst out into tears. Ben sets down the banana and wraps me in his arms. I pull away not wanting to get blood on him.

"Leave me the fuck alone" I say running up to the bathroom

"Fucking bipolar. I wont bloody help you anymore" he shouts

I burst into sobs. Danny comes in 30 minutes later engulfing me in a hug

''He can be a dick sometimes. But you gotta trust him'' he comforts

''He's gonna hurt me'' I sob thinking back to Tim

"Why do you think that''

''Every man that enters my life hurts me''

"Wanna talk about it?"

"My dad was an abusive drunk. And my last boyfriend beat the shit out of me'' I didn't go into detail.

Danny gets up getting some gauze and taping my cuts. I thank him then go lay down in his bedroom. Ben comes in and sits on the edge of the bed.

''Danny told me" Ben says. I try not to cry. "I won't hurt you. I just want to help, to be....yours"

I look up at him, he sees fear in my eyes. He moves closer ''Sometimes I get drunk" He pauses ''and I sleep around. But with you I'm trying not to. I want to be better. For you" He moves closer. Moving his hand towards mine. Silently asking for permission. I try to smile but get up.

"Still up for shopping. Andy and I can pay and be your pack mules" that made me laugh.

"You still have a Green Day t-shirt I can borrow?" I say throwing a smile at him

"Yes" he says leading me into the bedroom and pulling out a shirt I throw it on and andy and PC are waiting down at the bottom. We drive to the mall and get out to walk. We start at hot topic, buying jeans and band shirts.

***Ben's POV***

We exit hot topic carrying the girls' bags. I look at Andy and shrug. Kayla stands next to me and reaches for my hand. We intertwine fingers and walk. The girls give each other a look, somethings gonna happen. Victoria Secret is up ahead. I either let go of Kayla's new found trust. Or I go in there, get a boner and make Kayla think I like the girls oo the pictures more than me. Kayla is sly!

"Girls, we are going to get you some coffee" Andy says pointing at the Starbucks stand.

"Find us when your done?" Kayla asks. I look into her eyes and melt

"Of course." I say. Andy give me the 'what the fuck' look because he's thinking about the boner thing too.

Once we leave the girls I tell Andy "Don't worry I got this. To the bathroom"

***Kayla's POV***

We go into the store. And start at the underwear and bras section

"Getting something sexy for Andy" I joke

"No" Petite Cookie says putting down the lace bra. I pick out thongs and normal hipsters then a few t-shirt bras. I go look at the pajamas and get some shorts and a robe. By this time Ben is back, but doesn't reach for my hand. We go to and get yoga pants.

"Make sure they are tight" Ben whispers 'accidentally' sliding his hand across my butt.

We go to the make-up section and pick out a bunch of eyeliner and mascara and everything. Ben just follows me around. I walk over the perfume and see Ben out of the corner of my eye. I quickly grab a bottle and squirt him repeatedly.

"Ah Kayla!'' he angrily laughed. He grabbed one a squirted me too. The manager came over tapping her foot

"Sorry'' Ben mumbled. We went to the check out and paid. As we walk out I grab his hand. We walk back though the mall and into the car.

"My biggest question is how did you not get a boner?" I asked as we got in the car.

"Ummm. Magic?" Andy says

"We jerked each other off in the bathroom" Ben says laughing. Dear god....I hope that was a joke.