Chapter 4

47 4 4

by Lisa_Boon

by Lisa_Boon

(Hello. Welcome back to another chapter of 'My Immortal' I'm hoping to get three to four chapters out today, but we'll see how my brain is after the first two. I am no comedian, but I hope you find this funny.

Monkee66)

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY Umm did you forget your own characters name? How do you do that? nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! Guys, please don't change yourselves for women, unless it's a really bad habit, like drugs or getting drunk or something like that, but then you should change for your own sake and not a women's. dey nu eechodder b4 ok! Any guesses on what this is supposed to say?

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?" He's driving ya idjit.

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously. The car is hovering in mid-air, and you just walk out of it? Did you fall to the ground? If you did, then you should put that in there.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily. You don't need to put in angrily, we get that your pissed because of the swear word.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped. Deep breath. All he did was say your name. I don't even know why you're mad...you just drove into the forest, I mean, yeah it's against school rules, but you already broke two of them by going to a MCR concert at night and violating the schools dress code. Just saying....braking a few more won't hurt.

Draco leaned in extra-close Creepy. and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness Depressing sorrow and evilness? and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then............... suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. This is when I'd punch him and go running up to the school yelling. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. Climbing on top of someone suggests that they're laying down. Poor tree. He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra. Then he put his thingie Penis into my you-know-what Vagina and we did it Had sex for the first time. If you can't write a decent sex scene, then maybe you shouldn't be putting them in? Or practice writing them first. Just a suggestion.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm How can she spell orgasm right but not her main character?. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm Again, because your a vampire, you have no blood, there for YOUR BODY CAN NOT BECOME WARM!!!! . And then....

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" Way to spoil the mood.

It was.............................................................Dumbledore! But- Dumbledore doesn't swear...

So, what did you think? Anything I can change or add more of? Please let me know. Thank you.