Losing Myself (Frerard)

Chapter 2

Frank Iero

Nobody really knows this about me. I don't know whether or not it's true or not, but I'm a bit bi-curious. It could be a phase.

I never really liked Gerard Way. He seemed like the type who would plan a murder when you weren't looking and would get away with it. I never had a proper conversation with him, does today's conversation count? Probably not, I only said a couple of words.

I think I might've made him blush, saying, "okay," when he told me, "fuck you." It was cute honestly. Don't get me wrong, I don't really think we'd happen.

I have a girlfriend but I don't think it's working out. I'd be expecting her to break up with me anytime from now. Honestly, she was getting on my nerves. We shared many happy memories and that's enough for us. I don't feel the fireworks or sparks between us when we do things together. If it's okay, I'd rather just be friends with her.

But isn't it weird being friends with your ex? It's like being friends with a murderer who just killed your best friend, pretending it never happened. I don't mind being friends with her, but I think it's going to be awkward. Like all those memories we shared, we'd have to pretend it didn't happen. Like, the past is the past. People change, memories don't.

I don't want the relationship to keep on going on. I used to be able to imagine my future with her. She would be at home and take care of the kids, and I would be doing whatever. But now, it's not really convincing. I don't want to spend the future with her. That makes me sound like an asshole, but it's really just the truth. I don't love her like I did yesterday.

I wouldn't consider myself an asshole. Actually, yeah. I'm a bit of an asshole. But it doesn't bother me. I still have a soft side though. You just have to be really fucking special to get there. It just doesn't happen.

I was at home with my dad and my granddad. We just got home from the funeral. I don't know why we crashed the Way's funeral but at the same time, I don't care. It was an interesting experience. Things like that don't happen every day for me.

I should really do homework. Nah, I crack myself up. Fuck it. Actually, no. I still gotta do some of it. I don't want to be failing my ass off and not be able to get a job. I still want a successful life. Like, I still want to barely pass. I don't want to be failing so hard that I'm an absolute failure. Doing a bit of work is better than doing nothing at all. I'm not making any sense right now. I grew up with only my dad and my granddad and I want to at least make them proud if that's the least I can do. I want to graduate high school. I have a GPA of 2.7.

First off, math. I actually understood a bit of this. It was easy for me. There were certain problems I didn't understand, but eh, whatever. I guessed on that so it looked like I actually tried. Then, English which was slightly harder than math for me. I hated reading. I could read a whole page and not remember what I just read. Or I'll read, and get distracted. It's complicated.

Halfway through doing my homework, I got a text from my girlfriend.

"frankie, can you come over rn?" it read.

"why?"

"i want to talk to you and i think it's better if we talk about it in person."

"fine," I replied. You see what I mean by her getting on my nerves? This better be worth my fucking time. I grabbed my black hoodie and put it on. I got my keys and made my way downstairs. It's like eight pm right now and she wants me at her house.

"Hey Dad, I'm going to go visit my girlfriend for a bit. I think I'll be back soon," I said to my dad. He wouldn't mind.

"Alright, son."