Undefined

Makaylan

"Andrew stop! I can't breathe."

"Unlock the damn phone Makaylan!"

"Andrew, I'm not play-(Gasp)-ing anymore. I CANT BREATHE!"

That's all I remember, that's all I saw. A monster on top of me, choking me with all his might. I wasn't joking anymore. I wasn't mad anymore. I didn't have an attitude anymore. I was just scared. Scared for my life, in fear of my own boyfriend.

Ya "boyfriend" that was the word I used. That's what I called him. Not Andrew, but BOYFRIEND.

We was on our way to my house and I stayed in the backseat. To think, I needed to clear my head. Why was I mad at him? Was I even mad at him? I remember last night.

"Shit"

"Fuck up, don't say nothing else the whole way home."

I didn't bother to reply to him. I remembered now. Andrew hadn't done a thing to me. It was him. I still can't believe it happened, he's ruining my relationship. It was all I thought about. This summer was the worst (no best, it was the best) time of my life. Every time me and Andrew have sex, I imagine he is someone else. I can't enjoy sex anymore without him in the back of mind. That image, that first night, It won't go away. It won't erase.

I couldn't show Andrew my phone because I was on Ig. But I wasn't just on ig. I was on another dude's page. I was fantasying over somebody who wasn't him. I didn't want to give him any hints. I didn't want him questioning me on why I was looking at his page.

"So you just gone sit here and not get out my car shawty?"

"Ya, imma get out. I was just trying to see if you was gone apologize."

"Apologize for what?"

"For almost killing me, you know you can go to jail for attempted murder?"

"Nah, if I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead."

"Could've fooled-"

"You the one texting other niggas in my face like this shit sweet."

"I wasn't texting another nigga. I wasn't doing anything but on.. nvm. Why would I be texting other niggas Andrew? You're all I've wanted for what? About three years now? If I wanted to text other niggas I would've been did it Andrew."

"So what was on your phone you couldn't show me?"

I had to come up with a quick lie, I had to dig myself out this hole........

"I was looking up things to get you for our anniversary in TWO WEEKS!! If you would've seen my phone, it wouldn't ruined the whole surprise. But don't worry you ain't getting shit anymore, you damn near killed me for your dumb ass assumptions of me texting other niggas."

He didn't say anything, he just looked at me in total disbelief. I could tell he believed what I said. He looked like he wanted to say he was sorry, but words hadn't left his mouth yet. Even though I was lying, I still wanted an apology. Even if I was texting another nigga, he didn't look at my phone, and he didn't know what I was doing. I never saw him act like that before. But I didn't want it to happen again, so I had to make him regret his decision.

"I'm sorry Makaylan. I just feel like you been distant with me all day you feel me? Like we barely talked and I been trying to get your attention. I figured you got you a new nigga or something. You ain't even hear me on the phone with Will earlier when I was talking about eating you out."

"I ain't hear you cause I been thinking for days on what to get you and I still don't know. I wasn't trying to be distant on purpose, you know I love you, and love spending time with you. And I love you eating me out."

I kissed him on the lips before he could answer and told him it was time for me to go inside. I couldn't keep lying to his face for long. Don't get me wrong, I love Andrew. I made a mistake. I didn't intend for it to happen. But It did, and I can't take it back.

Sitting in my room, I decided to call him. Not Andrew but, HIM!

"Yoo?"

I was silent, I didn't know what to say.

"Hello? Makaylan? You there girl?

I cringed at the sound of his French accent.

"Yea, William, I'm here."

"Yo, what's good ma? I heard you got ate out tonight. I probably could've done better."

"Haha, you're so funny. As a matter of fact, I didn't, and if you could that's not my business. We can't do this anymore William."

"Babygirl, what's wrong, ain't nobody going to find out about us. Why you tripping?"

"Because it's wrong. I'm dating your bestfriend, you're dating MY BESTFRIEND. Somebody is going to catch on. You don't feel any type of guilt for this?"

"Of course I do shordy, but Lo ain't giving me none and as long as her and Drew don't find out, we good right?"

"No we have to call this off."

"Look, you the one came on to ME! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!" But okay Makaylan."
*Click*

I came on to him? He can't possibly count that. I was drunk. He let me. He knew I was drunk and he let me come on to him. So I can't possibly be the one in the wrong. He is! Right?

I'm thinking to myself contemplating which one of us is in the wrong when it's both of us. We both are in the wrong. We've let this go on for too long. If this got out, it would hurt too many people. I can't be known for sleeping with my bestfriend's boyfriend or sleeping with my BOYFRIEND's bestfriend. Everyone would hate me. I have a code to live up to. Im captain of the cheer team, they hold me to the highest of standards that I have to live by. And sleeping with someone else's boyfriend is not in the rule book.

Since the last one was short, I decided to update while we was in school. 😚