Undefined

William

Practice really wore me out. It's so stressful maintaining my A's and B's playing a football game once a week, practice EVERYDAY, and still finding time for me and girl Loje. Loje means everything to me. I first saw her when I was in Jr. High school at LVS. I saw her at a football game and she was dancing her heart out, she danced with so much passion you could tell she loved what she did. I loved a girl about her business. I tried to step down on here but ya know how girls be round they lil friends. Trying to play hard to get. That only made me dig her harder. It did hurt to see her diss me and walk away, but I loved the way she walked and I did have a nice view. It wasn't until 9th grade year when we ended up at the same school when I was determined to make Loje my girlfriend. Loje was average height with beautiful long natural curly hair and a natural beauty who didn't need a speck of makeup, lip-gloss, or plastic surgery to make her look any better that she already did. Loje wasn't easy to crack though, she had a hard shell and I had to know why. I was falling for a girl who didn't give me the time of day. I'm head running back of my team, got the coolest homies, good looking, dress nice, money, smart, and just about any girl wanted me. But that's what made Loje stick out she didn't want me. Shit, she barely noticed me and I wanted to know why!

It wasn't long before I found out her bestfriend was on cheerleading team and was dating my bestfriend Andrew. I had to get her to set me up, I just wanted a decent conversation. I talked with my homies girl and got her to get Loje to agree to go out with me, at least just to talk. She would only agree if Makaylan and Andrew was there but I didn't sweat it.

We all arrived at Applebee's and sat at a booth table, Loje and Makaylan on one said and me and Andrew on the other. Drew suggested they gave us a while to talk, but really got there on table. I took no time and got straight to the point.

"Why you act like that Ma?" "Ian gone bite ya or nothing like that, I'm just trying to get to know ya girl.".......She didn't budge. No response, no look, no blink, shit I don't think she's inhaled and exhaled since we got here.

"Look Loje, I think you're pretty as hell, if you think imma dawg or something and I'm just gone play with your feelings or something, I'm not. I'm diff-"

She cut me off rudely saying "You can save the "you're different speech, everybody says the same thing and I'm not phased by it, but I've never had a boyfriend. I'd rather chose not to date and bring other people into my problems."

"Problems, what problems you got ma? I'm pretty sure its something I can handle."

"Look William, I think you're sweet and a good looking guy, but I see all the girls chasing you, why you want me?"

"Being real.... Cause you don't want me. Your confidence is sexy as hell, I see the way you love dancing, and how you're so passionate about your school work, I don't want to do anything but build you up. And being real, I got problems of my own ma. Let's make a deal, I tell you something about me most people don't know and you do the same. We can build from there."

She looked, then looked away. I took that as a sign that she took the deal.

"Okay Loje, my name is William Tyrek Allen, I live with ma ole lady and ma sister. I had a brother but he died in a car accident couple years back. He was in the car with my moms so she thinks it should've been her instead of him. Ever since then she's been real distant with me and ma sister Jhene'. I take care of my sister cause my pops usually don't come around unless he want something or running from the cops. My mom takes him back every time cause that's all she knows. I'm not one of those average niggas who football they only way out. I'm smart and I got potential. I've never missed a honor roll. I gotta make it out, I'm tryna pave the way for my sister. We don't come from much, my moms lost her job after the accident so we basically live off the government. And I've never had a real girlfriend but I'd love to make you my first and last."

She looked at me and you could see the hurt in her eyes. She looked like she wanted to break down so I stopped her before she could even open her mouth. "You don't got to tell me right now ma, take your time."

I offered to take her home since she had rode with Makaylan and I figured Drew wouldn't mind riding home with his girl. And to my surprise, she said yes. My car wasn't the best looking car, and it wasn't the newest model either, but I did have a car and I was grateful for what I had. On the way home, Loje only said 6 words, "can I get the aux cord." I didn't mind, so I let her have it. To my surprise, she played 'Been Broke Before by Yfn Lucci.' As the song played, she sat with her head back and her eyes closed vibing to the music. I could tell she really liked Lucci. I Gps her address and I swear she lived in the middle of nowhere. When I arrived to her house we sat outside until the song was over. She then turned the music down, looked directly into my eyes and said, "William, my name is Loje Nekohl Smith, I have two siblings, one brother and sister, I'm NOT rich, I work at Sonic to help my family out. My dad died when I was only 9 years old so my mom is a single parent. My mom works a full time job and most of the time it still isn't enough but that's not the problem. Me and my barely get along, she says I'm a reflection of my dad and that I act just like him. I feel as though she cant stand to see the sight of me. Even when my mom has it, if I needed something, she'd lie and say she didn't have it. I work for my own stuff, EVERDAY! No matter how pretty someone tells me I am, I always feel ugly. Ugly on the inside and ugly on the outside. I have to graduate, and dance keeps me motivated. My dad used to come to all my competitions, its all I have left. You say you want me now, but in the long run you wont. My mom, is a mentally ill psycho path. I don't want her to destroy you in the process of destroying me. I'm not what you want sorry!"

Just then she opened the door and started to get out, I grabbed her by her arm and said " Mais vous etes ce que je veux (you are what I want)."

She didn't even reply, she closed the door and walked to her house, I watched as she walked to her doorstep, she turned the key, looked back at me the walked inside.