The Nerd & The Ice Queen (Tousaki Highschool AU)

Chapter 14 - The Reason

In the evening just before work time, Sasaki went upstairs and stopped right in front of Touka's front door.
He wanted to told her something but He hesitated, He just too afraid that Touka will hate him more than now.
Should I knock or no? He hesitated till someone else inside him told him to knock. 

*knock* *knock*"T-Touka? I-I just want to tell you, I'm sorry if I become a burden for you.
If you bothered with my existence, then I will stay away from you.
I will quit from Anteiku too, so-" 

Can you forgive me? Please don't hate me, Touka.  
Can we still be friends? I don't want we become stranger.
Ugh... What the hell Sasaki? In the end you just thinking about yourself.
But what about her feelings? 

As He stay quiet, He could hear the creak sound from the door in front of him.
He grabbed the door knob and pushed it slowly. It opened.
Did Touka forget to lock the door?
Sasaki peeked from the front door. It's really dark inside, except one room.
It's Touka's bedroom. Sasaki walked to her room and He saw it opened a little bit. 

"Touka? You forgot to lock your front door, it's really dangerous. Touka?"

As He peeked through the door, He saw Touka put the cutter on her wrist.

"TOUKA!!" He shouted as He grabbed the cutter on Touka's hand.
He ignored the pain when his palm was cut then He snatched the cutter from her hands.

K.T : ... Hai.. se?
S.H : What are you doing? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, TOUKA?!
K.T : Why.. Why are you.. here?
S.H : ANSWER ME!!
K.T : I...
I.K : Sasaki? Why are.. *gasp* Sasaki-kun? Are you alright?! Your hand, it's bleeding!! What happened here?!
S.H : Ah, Irimi-san? I-I startled Touka when I came into her room. She hit the drawer and knocked down the cutter on the top of drawer. It almost stabbed Touka but I caught it, and.. you can see the result, haha.
I.K : Gosh! Wait, I will take the first aid kit now!

While Irimi went downstairs to bring the kit, Sasaki told Touka that they need to talk after He treated his wound.
Touka remained silent as She stared at Sasaki's hand.
Irimi brought the kit and offered to treated him but Sasaki told her that He can do it by him self and ask her to work. 

Sasaki took out a bottle of alcohol and bandages.
Before He cleaned his wounds with alcohol, Touka took the bottle from him.
"Let me do it." She poured the alcohol to his wound, She can see the painful expression on his face then She applied some medicine and bandage his wound.

S.H : Touka, do you attempt to suicide just now? 
K.T : ... So what? You should not stop me, Haise.
S.H : Why? Why did you do that?! Is it because of me? If it's true, then I-
K.T : Tsk!! What's wrong with you?!? Don't you hate me after I talked bad to you?! Why did you come here?!
S.H : Touka, did you.. intentionally say bad things to me? So I will stay away from you? Why did you do that?!?
K.T : ... I did it so no one will be sad after I'm gone. No one will be sad if the person they hate disappeared.
S.H : Why do you want to disappear desperately, Touka?
K.T : I only bring misfortune to the persons who closed to me!!
.... You got hurt by delinquents when they flirt me. Your fingers.. They got pinched by the door while you forced to opened it when I'm unconscious. You banned from school because you have fight with senior in order to protect me then the rumor spreading at school till they bullied you. And just now.. all of it, it's because of me.
S.H : How did you know? I mean.. you wrong, Touka! The bad things that happened to me is not your fault. You're not bring misfortune at all!
K.T :  I was wrong, huh? Then, can you bring your friends when Obon Festival? 
S.H : Err.. I will ask them, but what for?
K.T : I want to tell them something. Don't tell them that I am the one who wants to talk with them. I will be waiting on the riverside. Fortunately that your wounds is not too deep. Now, go home and get some rest okay?
S.H : .......................
K.T : Why you won't answer me? Do you worry that I will suicide after you leave? Don't worry, I won't do it until the Obon Festival. For the next, I don't know.
S.H : Touka, I-
K.T : *sigh* If you are worried about me, then do you want to sleep here?
S.H : Yeah. Eh? What?! I MEAN.. NO!! YOU CAN'T LET A GUY BESIDES YOUR FAMILY SLEEP AT YOUR HOUSE WHILE THERE'RE NO PARENTS AT HOUSE!!
K.T : Don't yell, jeez.. I'm just kidding. I promise that I won't do it and you can trust me.
S.H : Gosh, Touka! Your joke almost give me heart attack! Okay then, I will trust you and.. You see, I don't hate you but I mad at you for what you tried to do. But even if you will try it again, I will stop you no matter how many times. And.. if you die, I will be sad. I will go home now. See you later, Touka.

Touka just sat and stared at Sasaki even after He left.
'If you die, I will be sad.' his words marked in her thoughts.

Haise, thank you for caring about me. But I really want you to stay away from me.
Because I don't want to lose someone precious to me because of me anymore.
I really don't want to. In order to protect you, Haise.. 
I will tell you everything, about my past life. And this time.. I hope you understand.

-Obon Festival Day-
On obon festival day, Sasaki and his friends met up at Sasaki's house.
Each of them brought a candle lit lantern then headed to the river.
Sasaki lied to them that his old friend want to meet them.
When they arrived on the riverside, Sasaki looked around and found his 'old friend'.
He noticed the girl with white haired, She is wearing a white yukata with blue higanbana on it.
He saw her best friend besides her, Kosaka Yoriko.

S.H : She's beauti- No no no no!! It's not time to thinking like this!! Hey! I bring them!
K.T : Oh, You're here.
Y.S : ... What the hell, maman?!? So, your old friend is her?
M.T : Can you explain this, Sasaki? I thought I have already told you to stop see her, right?
S.H : T-That's-
K.T : Don't blame him. It's me who asked him to meet you all. 
M.T : Tsk, so what do you want from us?
K.T : I want to tell you something.

But after She said that, no one talked and the situation become awkward.
The people started to place their lantern on the river, then Touka and the others placed their own too.
The boys could feel the cold war between the girls, so Shirazu tried to make a conversation.

S.G : H-Hey! For whom are you praying for? For me it's my mother! She died from illness when I was kid.
M.T : Sorry to hear that, it's for my father. He died from accident.
U.K : For me, it's same as Tooru.
Y.S : Grandma and grandpa.
Y.K : Oh? We are same, Saiko.
S.G : And you, Sa-san?
S.H : Uh? Me? *touched chin* Same as Saiko.
S.G : I see.. and you, Kirishima-san?
K.T : ... rents.
S.G : Sorry, I can't hear you. Who?
K.T : My parents.
S.G : Oh, parents. Huh? Parents?
K.Y : Touka? Wha-Wha-What do you mean? Aren't they go overseas?
K.T : It's a lie. They didn't go overseas, they are already dead. 
Y.S : F-From illness? Accident?
K.T : No, I am the one who kill them.

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Notes :

Obon = A Japanese custom to honor the spirits of one's ancestors.