~A Little Bit of Bad with A Little Bit of Good.~

Chapter 14

You definitely knew everyone else could see you act differently. Bee could see how numbly you played video games with him. Prowl could see how numbly you watched the vines. Everyone was worried. Sari walked up to you as you were staring at the dry brown vines.

"(Y/n)?" She asked you directed your attention down to her

"Yes small one?" You questioned picking her up into your servo

"What's wrong?" She asked sitting cross-legged in your palm

You hummed, "What do you mean?"

She paused, "You... you just seem off..."

You stared at her your optics dull, "Off how?"

Sari hummed, "Like you are really dull... like you don't have that same snap in your voice..."

"I see.." you murmured

"Does this have to do with Optimus?" You stiffened as she spoke, "You did forgive him right?"

You flickered your optics away from the small humans face, "Of course..."

"(Y/n). You can't stay mad at him."

"I'm not mad."

"Well you can't stay like this!"

"Who says I can't?"

"It's unhealthy to bottle up emotions!"

"No feelings no hurt."

Sari just stared at you almost stunned to silence, "Who... who hurt you?"

You offlined your optics, "I was a decepticon... I can't just feel anything and survive long.."

"That's not the answer I was looking for."

You looked down at her through slightly opened optics, "I have been hurt many times... by many bots..." you placed her on the ground, "Most of whom I trusted and began to show emotion to... I hope you'll never have to feel the betrayal of watching someone you love... just walk away..." you could feel tears brimming in the edges of you vision as you tightly closed your optics forcing the emotion down, "You should go run your sire's company... take Bee with you, he's your friend, he'll help you through this.."

With that you rose and walked away from the human brushing by the prime not looking up at him.

(Optimus pov)

I sighed heavily watching her walk towards her berth. My attention was taken to Sari as she waved me over almost frantically. I padded over and kneeled down and allowed her to climb into my servo.

"Yes Sari?"

"You really need to talk to (y/n)."

It tilted my helm, "What?"

"You heard me!" She said sassily placing her fists on her hips, "despite what is seen on the outside, (y/n) is not ok! She need you to talk to her."

I jerked back slightly at her sudden outburst, "Why me?"

"You're the one who need to talk to her. If we do it she'll shut down more!" Sari explained, "Now go! She needs you!"

I nodded slightly and placed her down and stood up. As I walked down the hall towards her berthroom I began to think of the things I was going to say.

"(Y/n)... I think I love you..." no that sounds so wimpy "(y/n)! I love you!" Too desperate.... I sigh "(y/n), I've been thinking about you and us... and... I can't help it... but I've fallen in love with you... your personality... your form... your voice... the way you haven't given up on being accepted with the team.. I've fallen in love with your sweet little laugh. The way your fangs seem to shine when you grin. The way your wings flutter when you talk to me.. I love your features, from your perfect optics to the small scar on your jaw... (y/n) I love you..."

I smiled to myself slightly. "That sounds good.... I think... I have no chance to think about to now I'm at her berth room door.. what if she-" I immediately shook my helm from the doubt and reached up and knocked on her door.

It creaked open as soon as my fist knocked against the surface. I paused slightly confused and slowly pushed it open. The room was unoccupied though there was a small table in the middle of the room with something on it. Slowly I made my way over to it.

I picked up the bot on top of the holoprojector that I think said prime. The servo-writing looked like scribbles inside the note it stated how to activate the projector. I followed each sloppily written step and a small holographic (y/n) popped up. It soon began to speak.

":;Heh.. so here I am making another one of these..:;" the (y/n) rubbed the back of her neckcables, she heaved a heavy sigh, ":;I don't get why it's so hard this time... ok... so if your watching this prime... or whoever bothered to come check on me after who knows how long, I am most possibly offline. Offline in the worst possible way.:;" I stared as the hologram flickered as she continued to speak, ":;So this is my equivalent of a suicide note... but there is a few things I want to get off my chassis first before I leave this cruel universe..:;" she sighed, ":;Prime you are the most cute fragging mech I've ever seen! The way your audio fins grow red when you blush. The sound of your laugh, your smile...:;" she sighed longingly, ":;Heh you managed to break through my wall of defense around my feelings, and you hurt me. Whether it was purposefully or not it doesn't make it hurt any less... frag...:;" she leaned back slightly, ":;WHY IS THIS SO HARD!?:;" her hologram trembled Im unsure if it was the hologram or herself, ":;Prime... I love you.:;" nothing made my spark swell and shatter at the same time, ":;You are a slaghelm, but I love you so much. If you would have asked I would have offlined for you... just know I value you sooo much more than myself...:;" she finally looked back at the camera her optics teary, ":;One last patrol... one last fly until I come crashing down... I love you..:;" the hologram fizzled out of existence and I stared at the device

I need to move. I rushed out of the room leaving the door wide open as I rushed towards ratchet.

"Prime! What's gotten under your armor?" The old medic asked

"Ratchet where is (y/n)!?" I said

"She just left for patrol a few kilks ago... what's going on?" I ignored the question

"I still have time... Give me her coordinates!"I yelled as I rushed towards the door outside

Soon a small map popped into the far end of my vision I transformed speeding away from the base following the blinking red dot on the map. She was still online... I need to move fast.