Eyes Wide Open

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Stones, Water, Dirt, Glass, Coals.

Stones, Water, Dirt, Glass, Coals.

Stones, Water, Dirt, Glass, Coals.

Water.

Coals.

Water.

Coals.

Water.

Coals.

When I was fourteen my brother sat me down. You know, that things parents do a lot to tell you something really important. Well, my brother sat me down. I was naïve and clueless. I see now that Eric had tried his hardest to keep the news of this day from coming, but it did. The choosing ceremony.

My brother was sixteen, meaning he would soon leave me. Eric had explained that he was doing a very important thing. He was going to save the world, rescue us from demons called divergent. My brother was going to be a hero. I remember smiling in a way that a proud mom would towards her baby. I didn't see how brainwashed we truly were.

The day, oh the dreadful day I would be left alone, came sooner than I expected. Before I knew it, my mama was dolling me all up on my brothers request. He always said he loved when I dressed up, said it brought out my genuine beauty. My mama was curling my long dark brown hair, which after she was done with the curl, dropped to my chest, bouncing off the pretty baby blue dress Eric had picked out for me. At the thought of his name, I glanced over at him, peacefully eating his breakfast in the kitchen. It was hard to be happy at him leaving me, but he was saving us all. He needed to. Just like how I had to be supportive.

When mama was finished she dashed off to her own room to get ready, her own light brown locks swaying as she jogged. Just as mama left, Eric had finished his toast and had stalked up to the mirror next to me. His large arms wrapped around my body, encaging me in his prison. "So, ma'am, do you know what you're guilty of today?" He spoke in a comical bad western accent, just like the ones from the old movies our mama would let us borrow from the lab and watch. We always played this game together. It was our thing.

"No, sir, I have no clue." I stated back, in my own hilariously bad accent. It took vigorous strength to hold back the cry in my voice, and became even harder when I saw him looking me in the eye through the mirror.

"You, ma'am, are guilty of being to damn gorgeous. How am I supposed to ward off the boys if I'm not here." I forged a small, weak laugh and slightly shook my head. I wasn't gorgeous in the least, not when compared to my brother. I was average. Plain. Eric got all the looks, with his strong build, and my mama's light crystal gray eyes. His shoulder length hair had been wavy and stunning. Well, it had been, till he stepped out of the bathroom this morning after his shower with has hair buzzed off. Me, well I had our father's features. My eyes were a dark brown, and my hair was a straight and dull brown, so dark it was almost black. My light skinned arms were littered with scars, and if it was any other day they would be covered.

My trail of thought had wandered, going to old memories where people couldn't believe we were siblings. Eric would laugh half heartily and punch their arm, a little to hard as you could tell by the look of pain that crossed their face. Eric always thought he was protecting me. He alwa-

"Pumpkin." Eric's fingers snapped me out of my daze. We were no longer standing by the mirror, but was standing by the door with mama who was now all dressed up. The definition of poise and beauty. Mama was holding my coat, waiting for me to grab it. Apparently it was going to be cold today. Surprising. I couldn't take it. My stomach felt to queasy. My hands were starting to sweat. I was losing it.

Eric's hands grabbed to shake me lightly. "Come on, Pumpkin. We have to go now or we'll be late for the ceremony." Right, the ceremony. It then dawned on me that, oh, god, he was really leaving. I broke down crying, turning to my brother and embracing him. "Hey, Hey, pumpkin, don't cry." He spoke to me in the calm voice that he only ever used towards me and mama. Despite Eric's words, the tears continued to flood down my cheeks, smearing mama's master piece of make up.

"Pumpkin, calm down. Everything will be alright. We'll see each other all the time. And there's visiting day too." He rambled on, trying to comfort me. His large hands thumped my back a little to hard, causing me to shake. But I didn't mind.

When I remained weeping, Eric turned to our mother with a helpless look. "June's clearly not in the right state." His tone was his erudite voice, one he used when he stumbled upon tough decisions. It was a tone I was used to, me being a difficult child and Eric being my main caregiver. "She should stay here," he stated, devoid of any emotion.

I simply nodded my head and let him guide me back to my room. I knew he wanted me there, but I also knew it would break me to see him leave. To cut his palm open upon that stage, and join a new faction. To find a new family, and replace her with his own little girl. I just knew I couldn't handle it.

Eric wrapped me up inside my blankets like a cocoon and closed my pink curtains. After waiting a few minutes he up and left, shutting the door behind him, leaving me in complete darkness.

I couldn't rest the way I knew Eric wished me to. I was anxious. I was hopeful. I waited for hours for mama to come home. Every second my hopes were rising. Why is mama taking so long? Did Eric decide to stay? To go against Jeanie's commands, and they were at her office right now explaining it to her?

I heard the door open after many hours left alone to my thoughts. The sound of little feet running down the hall could be heard all around the house. I quickly ran to the door, hoping to see Eric waiting for me. I would throw my arms around him and never let him go.

But he wasn't there. It was only my Mama, now dressed in her pristine white lab coat and a exhausted expression wiped on her face. Her tired grey-blue eyes looked over at me and she shined a half hearted smile. Mama brought her hand out from behind her, showing the take out bag from a restaurant in the main Erudite building. "Come here, baby girl," she spoke. "Let's eat."

That was a sad night for both of us, I realized. I lost my brother but she lost her son. For both of our sakes I hoped we'd see him again soon. But that never happened.