Kitchen Sink // Tyler Joseph x Reader

i. 🚰 n o b o d y

trigger warning, self harm/attempted suicide and depressing thoughts. read safely.

i walked into my dorm apartment on the property of Ohio State University, wondering if my room mate was back from classes yet. his name was tyler, it's not like we were best friends or anything, we were close enough to live together, but more or less strangers to one another. we knew what we needed to know about each other and we helped each other when we could.

what i knew was that tyler would much rather be playing music than in college, he writes songs whenever he can. sometimes if im quiet at night i can hear him singing softly through the wall between our rooms. from what i can hear from his music, he's troubled, and from how he acts, depressed. it's fine, a lot of people are, there's nothing to be ashamed of about that.  i wished him the best of luck with his music because he really had a talent.

i sighed as i hung my winter coat on the hook by the door and made my way further into the apartment. "tyler, you here?" i called out as i walked into the living space. "in here," i heard a voice call from his bedroom. i smiled to myself and shifted my backpack on my shoulder, walking towards the bedrooms. i stopped in front of his open door and waved, giving him a quick "hello." there was something about him when his eyes met mine, something more troubling than normal. "you doing alright?" i asked and he blinked slowly. "yeah, i'll be fine." i shrugged it off and went to my room, tossing my bag to the floor and flopping down on my bed to scroll through my phone for a while.

what tyler's roommate didnt know was that he wasnt fine. he felt trapped in his mind, he wishes he could be a better man. the voice inside his head told him he wasnt good enough, he never has been and he never will. "go away," he whispered over and over until his voice grew louder and he was nearly shouting. y/n would surely hear him now. what he didnt know was that she couldnt hear him over the music sounding from her earbuds.

tyler got up and paced in his room, running his fingers through his hair and breathing heavily. tears began streaming down his face and he was overwhelmed. he couldnt take it anymore, his thoughts terrorizing him. "leave me alone," he yelled, over and over as he scribbled a note and ran out of his room, slamming the door behind him, and running to the kitchen.

he kept a blade in his pocket, he knew he shouldnt have, but he did. hovering his left arm over the kitchen sink, he let the blade slide across it, not deep enough to kill, not yet. he repeated, up and down his forearm, the pain in his arm numbed away by the pain in his head.htyler was muttering "leave me alone" as he shook the blood off of his blade, more dripping from his arm into the sink. just as he was about to make the final, deep vertical cut he heard a gasp behind him.

"tyler, oh my gosh," i gasped when i saw him, leaning over the kitchen sink, blood dripping down his arm. when he spun around and saw me, his eyes lit up in the most desperate way possible and he shrieked, "don't leave me alone," as he dropped the blade and fell to his knees, sobs escaping from his lips.

my heart ached for the broken man in front of me as i ran to him and knelt down beside him. "tyler i'm so sorry," i said as i hesitantly rubbed my hand up and down his back. "ssssssh ty," i whispered and he turned towards me, burying his head in the crook of my shoulder and latching his arms around my back. i hugged the frail man tight and rocked him back and forth, stopping when i felt wetness on my back. "tyler," he nodded into my neck, "we gotta clean your arm off okay?" he nodded again and i stood us up. tyler looked down at me with despair in his eyes and i frowned, feeling tears rush to my own. "sit on the counter," i said and pointed to the counter. i watched him hop on and grabbed some paper towels, wetting them a tiny bit, and handed them to him, "hold these on your arm, i'll be back."

tyler shakily took the moist (no) paper towels from me and pressed them to his arm, wincing slightly. i took one last look at him before leaning down and picking the blade up off the floor and heading to the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

i turned the bathroom lights on and knelt down next to the toilet, squeezing the blade in my hand a bit and feeling a dull pain in my palm. i threw the toilet opened and shakily dropped the blade in, reaching over and flushing it. i closed the lid again and let myself go, soft sobs bounced off the walls of the bathroom as i cried. if i had just pressed on a little more with tyler this might not have happened.

after a moment i realized that tyler was waiting for me in the kitchen, so i slowly stood up and washed my hands, wincing when the water hit the gash on my palm, and got the first aid kit from under the sink. i poured some hydrogen peroxide on my hand and let out a yelp as it bubbled then wrapped gauze around it and headed back to the kitchen to fix tyler up.