Fanfiction Cliches (and Where to Find Them)

Cliche #8 - The Pregnancy Bomb

Cliche: The MC announcing s/he's pregnant whenever a huge plot twist is needed.

Example:
How could this happen to me? I only had unprotected sex with Harry thirty times in the past week.

I picked up the phone and told Harry everything.

"I'm preggo, Harry!" I wept.

"Really? Huh," said Harry. "That's cool."

"What? You're okay with it?"

"Yeah, you've only got a tiny human bouncing around inside your body. No biggie. Wanna get lunch?"

I laughed. "Sure. See you in ten!''

Why it's a cliche:
Run out of original ideas for a plot twist? Make your main character pregnant. Problem solved.

Only it's not. Unplanned pregnancy is unbelievably scary, especially if you're not in any position to provide for you and your baby. This is why stories and fanfictions of teenage pregnancy gets me so riled. The main character announces she's pregnant and at first everyone is shocked, but then everyone calms down and accepts it.

The father of the baby is cool with the fact that he's barely 18 and has been lumbered with the responsibility of a baby and doesn't clear off.

What's more, the MC's parents don't make a massive fuss.

*grabs huge megaphone*
IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

In My Own Words:
I must admit, I'm very fond of using this lazy excuse for a plot twist. I just love given characters lots of lovely children (probably because I myself have three younger siblings). Big families are more fun!

* * * *

Your career with the band is taking off rapidly, and I don't want the burden of a steady girlfriend and a baby to get in the way of you having a successful life.

That's right, love. You did read that last part correctly. I'm going to have a baby... your baby. I would have told you sooner, but I was afraid of what might happen if I said anything. Don't worry, George, I won't let anyone know who the father is. Save you the embarrassment, y'know?

As one of my friends once said, "This is too in character: Michelle and Bad Decisions". I have to agree. Michelle from She's a Woman is basically famous for her bad decision making - and not telling George that he's fathered her child is up in the top three.

* * * *

"What's going on, love?" I asked, my voice slow and awkward.

"Something rather serious, Johnny," Pauline replied shakily. "I just don't know how to tell you."

"I get it," I said. "And I really don't blame you. I knew it was bound to happen sooner or later."

Pauline's brow crinkled. "You knew what?"

"You don't want to be my bird anymore. I get it, I really do. You probably felt a bit awkward, what with Cynthia and all that."

"No, no!" Pauline cried. "It's nothing like that at all. Of course I want to be your girlfriend, although you're right about Cynthia... But that's not what I'm talking about."

"What is it then?" I asked.

Pauline took a deep breath, pressing her lips together so tightly that they nearly disappeared altogether. Then she said quietly, "I'm pregnant, Johnny."

Dammit, John. You done fucked up. In McGirly, Paul somehow turns into a girl... which leads to him and John banging mere chapters later. (It's not one of my proudest fanfictions.)

So, yeah, as you'd expect, the Pregnancy Bomb strikes and Paul (sorry - Pauline) fails to say anything about it for approximately two months. And when she does eventually say something, everyone is cool with it. Seems legit.

* * * *

George stared up at John once more. He saw his friend's face. John looked extremely concerned, maybe even a bit frightened. George sighed. He couldn't keep the charade up much longer, and he knew it.

He carefully staggered to his feet, holding his stomach so tightly it looked like he was trying to prevent it from falling off. He let out a slow breath and muttered, "I'm pregnant."

Yup. George Freakin' Harrison got pregnant... and I still don't rightly know how.

Golden Lockets was literally my first ever full-length fanfiction and I was awfully proud of it... now I release it's just plain awful. SO MANY CLICHES - including a Pregnancy Bomb.

* * * *

"She does! She does!" I cried. "She's still crying over it! Oh God, it's going to crush her when I tell her about you and your flitty boyfriend."

"Stop saying 'flit', Georgia! It sounds so coarse," George snapped. Then he softened and lay back on the couch, his eyes slowly closing. "Your mum is going to be crushed about so many things, darling," he murmured.

"Don't call me 'darling'. I hate it. And what other things?"

George looked at me, his eyes sad little slits. He breathed in heavily then whispered, "I'm pregnant."

AND AGAIN.