No one knows what love is (#1)

5. I want to... - Hunter

Jordan left at around 11am in the morning, I could still feel the awkwardness between us even after constant ‘pushing’ by my mother.

“You know before she left, she asked me if we wanted to go for dinner tonight at her place. I have to go to work now Kay? I’ll be back at around 6, tell me your decision then. Love ya!” Mom asked me as she opened the door. I nodded my head and replied, “Sure thing, love you too. Bye.” I looked at the door close behind her and heaved a sigh as I laid on the couch. I had the whole house to myself, around 7 hours before Mom comes back at home, but no one to keep me company.

I took out my IPod and played “Stop Standing there” by Avril Lavigne. How do you know what’s a good song? You know it when you listen to this one. The lyrics are by far, by my standards, one of the catchiest yet meaningful lyrics I have ever heard. I placed the earpieces into my ears and closed my eyes. Flashes of my childhood appeared as images in my head.

I was just four years old when I managed to get spotted by a talent scout at the swimming pool I was training at. I never considered that I was ever going to be slower than the rest but I never knew that I was in fact, by age group standards, one of the best. I swam for fun because I loved the water, I loved to look at the sky while floating, to look at nothing except the clouds. I don’t know how I managed to get through the silent days back then.

I saw the good memories, they appear as pictures in a frame. You can see me smiling in every one of them. I saw the bad ones as well, those torn up pictures are the ones I really want to burn, every time I get reminded of my ‘past’, it hurts. My father leaving the house, the nights my mom spent crying beside my bed… It really made me think about how powerful a mother’s love is.

 Ever since I was young, I was always given so much freedom, freedom to explore, to learn, to experiment. I never had any restrictions put in place by my parents. When other students would complain about their parents not allowing them to play with the computer, I on the other hand had nothing to complain about. That's what my Mom is like.  No I didn't grow up to become a spoilt child, I grew up on the values of freedom, that anything you do is totally up to you, you let your conscious decide whether it is right or wrong. There never is a correct answer, the only thing I had to do was ask. Suddenly I felt as if I am falling, and my body activated into defense mode. Thud! I fell on the floor while sleeping.

I look up to see that it’s 5.50, sigh… I must have slept past lunch. I stood up and stretched my body. I did a few push-ups and then decided to take a shower. Once I finished showering, I sat beside the window in my bedroom and looked up at the sky. Today the sky reminds me of Jordan, somehow. I don’t know why either. I want to see her, to talk to her. What is this feeling? Just then I heard someone unlocking the door, I looked out to see Mom at the door turning the key hole. I ran down the stairs and opened the door.

Just then, my mouth decided to work on its own, “Mom, can we go over to Jordan’s?” Mom smiled at me.

“I knew it. Sure thing Hon!” Mom replied while giving me a wink. I could feel my cheeks turning red as I ran up to my room to get changed.