Agent Orange - Inconsequential

Episode 2 - d'ESP

FROM THE JOURNALS OF AGENT ORANGE:

Perspective is the way people see things. What you perceive can be affected by where you’re standing, how you’re feeling, how much information you have about what you’re perceiving and most importantly by how you were taught to perceive things.

The phrase “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” usually describes a disparity in resources or an almost fetishistic preference for objects others find less desirable. In the case of the Department of Extra Sensory Perception (a sub-department of the Department Of All Data) it has more to do with the ability to perceive “treasures” where others perceive “trash”.

In my role as a member of the DOAD my job is to capture as much data as possible. In my role as a member of the DESP, my job is to use my unique abilities to capture data that is invisible to the average person.  Some might call this a superpower, but I think of it more as a different perspective.

CHAPTER 2

It was February 29th, Agent Orange’s birthday. His real birthday. He had only had 6 of these in his life, including this one. The first one was pretty much a wash; lots of blood and screaming, bright light for the first time, air and so many looming, shadowy figures. The second was confusing. The third and fourth came at a time when things made more sense but that “sense” wasn’t necessarily agreeable. The fifth had been his first while in the Department and things were looking up. This one was, well this one was happening right now.

The man-sized hot dog was dancing. It wasn't bad. The suit was obviously restrictive, but there was some talent between those buns. The people eating outside seemed impressed as well, or maybe only amused. An armada of mobile devices recorded the moment, either as snapshots or full video. Presently, impressions of this sentient, all-American delicacy were flying around the world at close to the speed of light. Data was being shared, the events of this moment, in this place, broadcast to thousands of other locations almost instantaneously. New experiences were being created – quite possibly spinning off multitudes of alternate universes. The power of one man (or woman) in a hotdog suit could not be refuted. How was this person any less a god than any other deity from history? The Hotdog (god’s names are always capitalized) fed off the adoration of its worshipers. It then used the power gained to add joviality to the atmosphere, which in turn gained more adoration. It was a loop that surged with every iteration. The Hotdog was gaining power, swelling to immense… the Hotdog had a call.

The dancing stopped. The hotdog pulled out a cell phone from a hidden fold within his voluminous raiment, flipped it open, and held it near the place a human would have ears. The crowd immediately withdrew their adoration and once again there was only a person in a costume.

Orange scanned the crowd. There were people eating, talking, joking. Others were walking away now that the spectacle of the dancing god was over. A light but steady stream of pedestrians passed by. It really was a lovely day.

Orange was hot in his suit but over the years he had learned to ignore it. He loosened his tie, adjusted the strap of his backpack and moved away, down the wide, paved thoroughfare.

He walked for a minute. Elderly woman in A wheelchair.

It was as if someone had spoken in his ear. It didn’t shock him. It happened often. There was no actual sound; it was the way his mind told him someone near was going to do something strange. Other agents had joked about being bitten by radioactive spiders. Orange just knew it as “the way he was”.

The woman in the wheelchair was heading toward the restaurant that Orange had just left behind. He stepped off the path and adjusted his pack as an excuse to turn and get a better look at her. She had thinning hair, mismatched clothes. She was like a spider, plump in the middle with boney, thin legs and arms. She rolled the chair with determination, possibly anger; this woman wasn’t just out for a roll around the park.