[1] Trust 》T. HOLLAND

11- "initiating"

Messages between Kay🤓 and crab cake🦀

crab cake🦀
guess what

Kay🤓
you finally figured out why you're a crab cake?

crab cake🦀
🤦‍♂️ no. 

Kay🤓
okay, so, an alien space ship captured you and you woke up with a bunch of little green people poking and prodding you in uncomfortable places with uncomfortable things?

crab cake🦀
what? no! 🤦‍♂️

what is your obsession with aliens anyway?

Kay🤓
what? there's no obsession. 🤐

crab cake🦀
like i believe that. 

Kay🤓
look, i'm not allowed to talk about it, okay? it's in my non disclosure agreement with the government and area 51. 🤐

crab cake🦀
.... you know what... i'm not even gonna ask...

Kay🤓
good choice. 

now, what is it you want to tell me?

crab cake🦀
okay, so, i have some promo in LA for my new movie. 

so, i'll be there in two weeks for about two months, until the premiere.

Kay🤓
okay?

crab cake🦀
sooooo we finally get to meet. 

Kay🤓
oh. right. well, uh...

crab cake🦀
what, kay?

Kay🤓
you see, i... well, i moved to the north pole. 🤷‍♀️

crab cake🦀
kay... the north pole doesn't exist.

Kay🤓
WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT? I AM HERE RIGHT NOW. AND MY ELF FRIEND NOUGAT GINGERPEARS SAYS YOU WILL HAVE COAL IN YOUR STOCKING THIS YEAR SO HA TAKE THAT, NON-BELIEVER.

r00d

crab cake🦀
kay... i think you need help. 

Kay🤓
i don't need help. 

Speedy Charmerson said he'll kick you in the gonads for me when he's at your house this Christmas Eve with Santa. 😊

crab cake🦀
who the hell is Speedy Charmerson? 🤦‍♂️

Kay🤓
the reindeer, you moldy sock. he's taking over for Donner this year on the sleigh cabaret. geez. 

crab cake🦀
all i wanted to do was tell you that i was coming to LA in a few weeks. 😧

Kay🤓
i just told you i'm not in LA. 🤦‍♀️

crab cake🦀
and now i'm a moldy sock? 🤦‍♂️

Kay🤓
yes, get with the program, you snot loaf 🤦‍♀️

crab cake🦀
how do you come up with this stuff? 🤦‍♂️

Kay🤓
i just do, hairy butt licker. 🤷‍♀️

crab cake🦀
jfc 😐

Kay🤓
don't hate the player, hate the game.

crab cake🦀
i'll come up with some ridiculous insulting names for you, too. 

mark my words. 

Kay🤓
have fun with that, lazy turd waffle.

crab cake🦀
i will, you potato

Kay🤓
WOW YOU CAN'T INSULT ME WITH MY OWN INSULT FOR MYSELF

you lazy sack of blue waffles. 

crab cake🦀
what the hell are blue waffles?

Kay🤓
idk i made it up

crab cake🦀
oooook?

Kay🤓
you asked. 

crab cake🦀
seriously, how do you even come with these things?

Kay🤓
i told you: i just do, butt monkey 😎

crab cake🦀
well okay then

Kay🤓
twatwaffle

crab cake🦀
stop calling me names 

Kay🤓
TWATWAFFLE TWATWAFFLE TWATWAFFLE TWATWAFFLE

crab cake🦀
you're such a child

Kay🤓
oh now with the name calling!

r00d

crab cake🦀
you started it!

Kay🤓
baby 🙃

crab cake🦀
why are you so mean to me?

Kay🤓
oh, i'm not mean. i'm initiating you. 

crab cake🦀
into what? 🤔

Kay🤓
you can't be part of my posse without being initiated, you dank slice of maggot pie. 

crab cake🦀
i see? 🤔

Kay🤓
okay, but, i just spoke with Eclair Fizzyfig and she'll give me a trip through the portal in two weeks to come see you in LA. you're welcome.

but i couldn't talk Speedy out of kicking you in the gonads. unfortunately, you're on your own for that one, pal.

crab cake🦀
you are one hell of a girl, Kay. 

Kay🤓
THANKS I TRY 😁

*last updated: October 30th, 2017*
*published: April 16th, 2018*