The Fallen God {On Hold}

Chapter 12~

   Luckily Starr and Maddie weren't out for long. Seeing as it was still night we agreed to wait there until it was day.
   "So... umm anyone know any good songs?" Starr wanted to break the silence.
   "Well I can sing a song... I g-guess..." I didn't really like singing in front of others because I sound a bit girlish. It could be worse...
   "Sounds great!"
   I toke a deep breathe. I could feel their stares burning holes into my skin.
   "I feel that walking has become another chore. I don't think I can go on walking anymore." I opened my eyes to see them staring at me in awe.
   "Forgive me for those words, I know they're but a cliche to you, but life is tiring, my feet are feeling sore." Gods I'm sweating fricking bullets.
   "I wish that I could have a bit of time
to heal the ache that is growing stronger all the time. But I know time stops for nobody, let alone me
And so I go inevitably..." Starr seemed to like my voice which is good.
   "Whenever things are going rather happily it turns out life is just playing a trick on me. It's slightly shameful to admit the truth, I end up in tears
and so returns the same old melancholy." Lurec seemed concerned, obviously listening to the actual lyrics.
   "I miss when life was just simplicity
And misery wasn't always chasing after me. It's pretty obvious now, I should have left my regret. But I held onto it so foolishly"
   "Maybe I overreact a bit, it hasn't destroyed me yet, has it? But everything I desire is always just too far to get. Honestly it's just me, brainlessly, so silly, Always hoping for good to be. If that's the case then just hear my plea pick me up and drop me into unfaltering sleep!" I breathed deeply, trying not to cry. But the lyrics seemed to know my deepest pain.
   "You say to look hard for a solution
But wouldn't that depend on the person? So I could never. No, I could never, believe a word anyone says. I know that everyone has their hardships. It's fairly clear to me that I'm not alone. But how is it that they can just leave them, I just don't know at all." I kept my tears in. If they ask I'll just say I heard this song somewhere and I thought it was catchy. Heh... yeah keep lying.
   "Often I'm told I need to clean up my act. Although maturity is something I lack. And so when some simple little problems arise I overthink them over and over again. It seems that the world is just a troublesome place. So sometimes I think that I should just end the pain" That got all of them, not just Lurec, concerned.
   "You're sick, aren't you, dear? I'm sick of the tears. Why can't everything just end simply?" I took a breath.
   "Everything I aspired to be is nothing that will become of me. If my expectations are too far-fetched then just what am I to do? Give a sign, give a sign, a reason not to die, give me a chance to prove my worth I constantly search for a place to cry. Why won't these tears just stop pouring from my eyes?!" I didn't notice before but they were seemingly getting closer.
   "It's hard to constantly think of the same things, It's just unnecessary to think too much. You always told me stars would guide me back home,
Although they only show at night. You always showed me so much kindness, I don't deserve it, I have failed you too much. I think my tiny heart is going to split, Just leave it be for now." My soul was showing. It seemed to be sad. Wow I miss Derek to much... it's having to big of an affect on me...
   "Step back from me. Please leave me be. This so deceitful road that I stumble on. Is never going to end" I moved back a bit before putting my soul away.
   "It's getting difficult to manuever
And it's just worthless to try and run away. So I'll just hold my hands over my ears. And block out all this noise! How can I live not knowing what life is? Sometimes my dreams seem to be more realistic. Obviously I can't be called happy, Then what am I after all...?"
   I avoided all eye contact after I finished.
   "You... you have a pretty singing voice Chris. But... I hope that you are okay..." Lurec sounded off. Can't blame him though.
   I was suddenly tackled by the three of them and forced into a group cuddle.
   "You need some TLC! And your not getting free until you get some!" Can't breath... We ended up falling asleep ten minutes later. Welp... I hope it'll be morning when we wake up.
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"Who are you anyways?!"
"Heh me and you are very similar... except I hate my brother... and you should to~"
"What did your brother ever do to you?!"
"He left me for dead... your brother probably is doing that right now! He probably isn't even trying to save you."
"Shut the hell up!"