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109 | michael's live

"Okay, guys," I'm so nervous. I know doing this could end good or badly and im so anxious for the out come. But I guess we'll never know unless I get to the point. I breath out and say "I've got somethings to admit."

I glance at my phone screen and it was blowing up with notifications. Most were asking about Crystal, either asking if I'm admitting to the PR or if we are actually getting married. I run my hands through my hair. You can do this, Michael.

"It was all fake," i state bluntly. At this point I don't even bothering looking to see the comments that we're rolling in. "Now you're wondering what's fake... well, my whole relationship with Crystal. It was never real. It was all set up by Modest. We were never in love."

My hearts beating really fast. The realness of me doing this just hit me. "But I was in love with Stella.

"I still love her. Everything you saw online with her was real. The hugs, the kisses, the love.. everything was legit. She still is and was my world. And now this message goes straight to Stella so please, I hope you're watching..

"I love you so much. I always have and always will. You told me the PR hurt you but I didn't listen, because I was so fucking terrified of what Modest would do if I tried to back out of our contract. But there are no excuses. I should have never let the fear of losing my career come in between our relationship. It was more important than that. The love I feel for you is so real and I hope you feel the same way... but Stella, if you don't feel the same way, I hope you do find love with someone. With someone who will love you endlessly like I do and someone who will treat you like the queen you are."

About half way through my message I started to cry. I vigorously wipe away my tears but I eventually give up because more just keep replacing them. I couldn't stop.

"I'm gonna be honest to you, to everyone. Being in that relationship that I couldn't get out of, almost broke me. I hurt a lot of people while I was in it and I can never forgive myself. Even my friends were avoiding me because everywhere I went, Crystal came too.

"And now I don't care anymore. I don't care what Modest does to me at this point. If they kick me out of the band, they do it. Not my decision to leave but if it comes to it I'll have to."

I breath in and breath out. I only have to deliver my closing speech to Stella.

"Now back to Stella. You are my happiness, one of the only people who can make me truly smile. I love you so fucking much. Please remember that, forever and always."

michaelclifford's Instagram live has ended.

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A/n I HAVE REACHED 41 k READS AHDBHD TYGSM❤️❤️

oml do any of y'all remember when I first started this book and i was so happy for 500 reads hahahah

those were the dayzz :')

(*update later before i posted*)

i fOuND THE SCREENSHOT