Wish (JJ Project)

Revelation

Jaebum woke up when the sun had already gone west. His body still tired and mind felt ragged. He dragged himself toward the bathroom, and stared at the mess of a human in the mirror. He looked terrible. Black shadows had formed under his eyes again, and he looked pale. He hadn't been able to sleep at night again, all progress he made the past year lost. It wasn't because of the fear from nightmare anymore though. The longing for Jinyoung was just too great it suffocated him, overshadowing the fear. Despite that, the nightmare would affect him greater than before, as the fact that it still appeared indicated that Jinyoung's future hadn't changed and therefore became a constant reminder of why he should keep staying away from the boy.

It had been a month since their break up, half of it since he last saw Jinyoung. The first half consisted of Jinyoung stubbornly waiting outside his classes. Jaebum would hide behind the wall at the junction of the corridor, watching him from afar and waited until he left before he went into the class, receiving the lecturers annoyed stare because their lectures were disturbed. He eventually seemed to give up, and Jaebum never saw him anymore, feeling relieved in spite of the pang in his heart because the only moment he was able to observe Jinyoung's face as much as he could was taken away.

Jinyoung had influenced his life too much that the void Jinyoung left was too big he couldn't remember how his life was before he met Jinyoung. There were traces of Jinyoung everywhere, yet the person itself was nowhere to be seen. He was in Jaebum's playlist, so he didn't listen to music anymore. He was in every food he cooked, making him losing appetite on everything he made that he started losing weight. He was on the bookshelf, so he covered it with a wide piece of fabric. He was in every shows and dramas he saw on tv, so he didn't turn it on anymore. Even after all he did (or didn't do), every corner of his apartment still brought memories of Jinyoung. And since he stopped doing everything he normally did at home, he had nothing to distract his mind with, so it would still be filled with Jinyoung. It really drove him crazy.

Jaebum sighed, tearing his eyes off from the sad reflection of his. He took a shower, turning it as cold as possible so the hurricane inside his head would cool down. More preferable if it could make his brain freeze so he wouldn't be able to think anymore, however it was too good to be true hence impossible. When he got out from the bathroom, he found Nora waiting for him and nudged her nose to Jaebum's leg, meowing. Jaebum took her into his arms, carrying her to lie with him on the sofa in the living room. He put her on his stomach, stroking her silky fur. It was a rare chance when instead of scratching his hand and ran away, she stayed put and purred.

"Don't you miss him? You used to play all the time with him and ignore me when I'm the one who keep you fed, you ungrateful princess."

Nora stared at him with her blue eyes and meowed softly. Jaebum smiled sadly and said, "Well, I do."

Nora meowed again and walked up to his chest, surprising him by licking his nose. He smiled fondly and kiss her, petting her head. He understood that she wanted to comfort him, and the pain in his heart subsided, even though he knew it was still there.

Suddenly, his doorbell rang. He put Nora down, wondering who it was. He then remembered Mark texted he would come over the afternoon. He sighed, feeling bad for the red haired boy for having to stand between him and Jackson. Jackson had been angry at Jaebum for breaking up with his best friend one-sidedly, and refused to talk with Jaebum the whole month. And Mark, being the great friend he was, wouldn't leave him alone with his own mess. It seemed like they fought because of it in the first weeks, since he never mentioned Jackson's name anymore and never seen together with the other anymore. He felt worse because of it, so he persuaded Mark to make up with Jackson. Their relationship didn't have to pay the price of Jaebum being a jerk. And now, as Mark stated, they were in a truce. It still didn't sit well with Jaebum, but he had to be satisfied by it since Mark could really be the most stubborn person he ever knew.