Wish (JJ Project)

Perspective

A few moment after the door closed behind Jinyoung, it opened again and he heard someone entered the room. He looked up and saw Mark standing there with a worried expression on his face. Seeing the state Jaebum was in, the other quickly sat beside him and pulled him into his arms, letting Jaebum cried his eyes out on his shoulder without a word.

"What happened? I saw Jinyoung on my way up here. Did you fight?" Mark asked after Jaebum had mostly calmed down. Jaebum shook his head.

"Tell me, Jaebum. Didn't I tell you? You can depend on me. I want to help you."

And that was exactly what he needed. It was too hard, and he couldn't bear to keep it by himself anymore. So he told Mark everything. From the nightmare, how he met Jinyoung, why he went out with him, how he slowly fell in love with him, and why he broke up with him. Mark listened to him quietly, never disturbed him until he finished his story.

"So Jinyoung is... going to die?" Mark asked, forcing it out like the word was choking him.

"I don't know, but the fact that we both dream of it would be too much to be called a coincidence, right?" Jaebum said, tugging at his own hair.

Tears began to fill Mark's eyes. "What should we do...? Can't we do something? Why is this happening to him?"

Jaebum casted his eyes down. "Sorry, it's my fault... that's why, maybe me staying away from him could save him."

Hearing that, Mark put his hands on Jaebum's shoulders, forcing him to face Mark and held his gaze. And when he talked, he sounded upset.

"Listen, Jaebum, I've told you so many times that what happened to Youngjae isn't your fault. Fate killed him. And now it punished you? It made no sense. And now you're gonna blame yourself again that Jinyoung is going to die? What makes you think that it's your punishment? How do you know that it's not truly his destiny? Let me tell you something, Jaebum, you think too highly of yourself if you think that every accident that happened in your life is your fault. If I die tonight, would you blame yourself as well? Everyone dies, Jaebum, and no one knows when and how they're going to die."

Jaebum wanted to argue. "But the dream..."

"Don't you think that maybe that dream is a way for God to be considerable of you? That dream gave you a chance to be together, giving you the only person that could make you love again before you lost him forever without knowing it and became unable to love anymore for your whole live. Maybe it supposed to make you realize that you have to cherish the time you're given, even more that you know that you might not be together for long. And what are you doing now, distancing yourself from him?"

Jaebum was taken aback. He never thought of it from that other perspective. For years, he only knew a way to blame himself and fell into depression. He never thought that there was any possibility other than himself at fault. Mark's expression softened, and he continued.

"Even if it's like how you thought before, if it's me, I would rather live a short life with the one I love than a long one without. It would be an empty life, I'm sure Jinyoung will think the same. If he's going to die, he would want to leave without regret. That's why he keeps running after you."

Jaebum didn't say anything. He remembered Jinyoung saying with a mirthless smile, before he left, "I know I might seem selfish to you, but I won't give up. A man who is going to die allowed to be selfish, right?"

"And what if he still dies even after you break up with him? Believe me, you're going to regret not staying with him your whole life. And he would die, alone. Won't it be better to stay together with him until his last breath? And who knows, maybe God pushed you to him so that future could change, not the other way around."