Wish (JJ Project)

So Close, So Far

Jaebum would never get bored of watching Jinyoung's sleeping face. He could even do that all night long. He couldn't stop admiring how the moonlight rained on his relaxed face, creating the contrast that sharpened his features. His mouth slightly parted which was cute. His chest slowly rose and fell along with the breath he took. Jaebum couldn't help but smiling. However, when Jinyoung woke up, it disappeared.

Jinyoung never greeted him with his sleepy smile anymore as soon as he opened his eyes. He wouldn't even look at him. And the pair of orbs that was revealed by the eyelids contained deep hollowness Jaebum wanted so much to erase, yet couldn't. It crushed his heart how Jinyoung still couldn't get over the past. It pained him that Jinyoung was still hurting from the memories. He hated how it made Jinyoung stopped smiling beside a few strained smile that occasionally showed up on his face.

He watched as Jinyoung sat up and got off the bed, ignoring his existence. Instead, he exited the room and looked for Nora, followed by Jaebum. He brought her in his arms to where her food were kept. He put her down and feed her from his hand. Jaebum was relieved to see him finally sincerely smile when he did that, though he was also slightly jealous of Nora for being able to bring the expression out of Jinyoung when he couldn't. Jinyoung pat her head and went to bathroom. Jaebum sat on the sofa as he listened to the muffled sound of water falling against the floor. Nora meowed at him and curled up beside him, her eyes never leaving his.

Half an hour later, they were walking down the street, Jaebum one step behind Jinyoung. The sky was clear, and the sun was shining brightly. Piles of cherry blossom petals brought by the wind were scattered on each side of the road. A glint of light reflected by a pair of metal accessories adorning Jinyoung's ear. It was one of Jaebum's. He never knew why Jinyoung suddenly pierced his ears a few months ago when he declared that he would never intentionally make a hole on any part of his body no matter what before. And even though he pierced his ears, he never bought any earrings. He only wore Jaebum's. Well, Jaebum never asked.

Both their ears were free from earphones, since Jinyoung had stopped listening to music. Jaebum missed those moments when they would strolled around side by side with their ears plugged by the music they listened to together, humming to it. He knew music reminded Jinyoung of the accident, the reason he couldn't hear Jaebum calling his name. It agitated Jaebum to think that the thing they used to love before made Jinyoung upset, so he wouldn't say anything. He just silently trailing Jinyoung steps as he went inside a cafe.

Jinyoung had officially moved into Jaebum's place a while after the accident, so it would only be fair to call it theirs. Since then, though, Jinyoung never ate at home. He even became a frequent customer to this cafe they were in since it was so close to their place. Every morning, he would order light breakfast and ate while looking absentmindedly outside the window, watching people passing by. He didn't eat as much as he used to, and he seemed much thinner lately. Jinyoung used to feasted on his homemade meals and stuffed his mouth full, very much unlike the way he was eating his croissant now. It broke Jaebum's heart to see him this way.

Jinyoung paid the bill and they exited the cafe. Jinyoung didn't say anything, but Jaebum already knew where they were going. It was always the same place everyday, and Jinyoung would stay there all day, if not a few days. Jinyoung had always liked spring from all weather, so Jaebum hoped he would take his time outside before confining himself in that small, depressing place. He wished Jinyoung would look up at the bright, beautiful blue sky, and smiled like he always did. However, Jinyoung's eyes were always casted down at the pavement they were walking on, and only sighed every fifteen minutes or so until they reached their destination.

The glass door slid open as they stepped in. They walked straight to the elevator, fortunately opened as soon as Jinyoung pressed the button. There were only two of them inside, and it remained that way until the third floor, where they were supposed to get off. Jinyoung's face got gloomier the more steps they took. Jaebum, hating that look on Jinyoung, wanted to drag him away from here, but he knew he couldn't. The only thing he could do was tailing Jinyoung without a sound.