Sherlock preferences

When they're drunk

Before I start this chapter, can I please get a huge shoutout to these beauties for making me laugh today! Go check out their books xx

ArdenHolmes

DaughterOfElrond

hollie_5589
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Sherlock-
You really like getting Sherlock drunk. He just starts to act really irrationally and it is absolutely hilarious. One night, when you had dragged him down to the pub with you, Mary and John, you had asked the bar tender to slip some vodka shots into his cider without him noticing. By the end of the night, Sherlock was absolutely off his face and  toddling about with the manner of a small child who has just been given a whole jar of sugar.
"Sherly... Babe..." You called over to him, fighting to hold back your indecent sniggering as he tried to play pool holding the cue the wrong way round. As he heard your voice, he swung around woozily, knocking a rather burley looking man in the face with the end of the stick. On seeing this, you clapped your hand over your mouth and gasped with fear and curiosity as the man approached Sherlock intimidatingly.
"Wot d'you fink you're doin ey?" The man spat out in Sherlock's face while you just started on intensely. Sherlock just straightened his hurt collar and slurred
"Hello sir, if you are going to inshult me c..could you pleeease use the queens English? I don't mean to sound so pedantic but you sound like an imbecile..." He rocked back and forth uneasily on his heels as he said this, noticing the man was getting angrier and angrier with every word. Suddenly, the bench looking man brought his fist up into the air and proceeded to swing a violent shot right at your boyfriend head. However, just because he was drunk, doesn't mean he lost all of his motor skills... Sherlock caught the mans fist in mid air, grabbed his head and smashed it down into his knee; breaking his nose in the process. Even though, after that, the man had to go to A&E, you couldn't help but giggle when Sherlock turned back to you with a a look of childish triumph on his face and fell into a fit of giggles as you were all thrown out of the bar.
"You do some stupid things when you're drunk sherly..." You said, giggling light-headedly as you pottered home. He just nodded in response and muttered
"Yess.." Accompanied by a happy wink, assuring you that he would be as good as new and back to normal the next day. Well... As normal as Sherlock can get...

John-
Much to your despair, John is a huge lightweight when it comes to alcohol. Whenever you go out to a bar with him you end up having to leave stupidly early simply due to the fact that he can't hold his drink. Because of this flaw, John is open to a lot of practical jokes...
On John's birthday, he invited Sherlock, Mycroft, Greg and obviously you to an obscure cafe/bar on the outskirts of London. The atmosphere was buzzing yet not overcrowded and overall, the place had a nice zing to it that made you all (even Sherlock, strangely) feel right at home. At about 8:00 in the evening, you all began to drink and unintentionally began the inevitable downfall of the evening. As it was John's birthday, you wanted to get him drunk and at this point, you didn't know about his stupidly lightweight alcohol tolerance. So, the plan was to add a shot of vodka -secretly- to his drink every time he ordered one and hopefully, by the end of the night, he would be a bit drunk. Needless to say 'a bit drunk' was an understatement...

"Oh dear god" Sherlock muttered
"Mr Watson?" Mycroft questioned
"John?" Greg called
"Babe... What are you doing?" You giggled.
John had drank three pints of larger and secretly three shots of vodka. He was now absolutely off his face. He stumbled around the establishment, knocking into bars tools, tipping over glasses and tripping on loose tiles on the floor. He was a total mess.
"I think it's time to get you to bed Mr"
You stated as you hooked your forearms under his armpits and attempted to drag him out onto the street to hail a cab...

- at home the next day -

"Uuuuughhhhh!!!" Came a lethargic, woe stricken holler from across the hallway. You poked your head round the door to see John face down in bed with a pillow over his face.
"Good night last night?" You asked cheekily as you tried to stifle back a giggle.
"No!" He groaned again. "Why did you let me drink so much??"
You approached him and sat by the bedside.
"Well babe, me and Mycroft were sneaking shots into your drinks. We didn't know you'd be such a lightweight!"
You couldn't help yourself. The laughter came pouring out like a stream as he frowned at you with pathetic anger.
"Oh well..."
"Take some paracetamol. You'll be fine John..."
"Ok... But I am never drinking again!"
"Yeah yeah... That's what you said last birthday!"

Mycroft-
Because of his high intelligence, it is extremely hard to get Mycroft drunk. No matter how hard you try to sneak in an extra shot of gun to his tonic, he always catches you in the act. However, the fact that Mycroft has never been drunk, makes him extremely sensitive to it and it doesn't take much before he starts to get tipsy.
On your birthday, you just wanted a nice night in with Mycroft. Nothing showy or expensive; just a lovely evening. Due to his unfathomably strong devotion to you, he allows you anything you want on your birthday, even the drinks...
"Blue wicked" you said calmly, pulling two of the shocking blue bottles of liquid from out of your bag and placing them on the table.
"I'm not drinking that (y/n)..." Mycroft said, looking at the bottles in utter disgust as if they had just mocked his suit.
"Please mykie! Pretty please... For meee?" You pouted your lips and attempted to make your eyes as big and sad as possible as he looked on in distain. Eventually, he gave in to your adorableness and took a glass of the almost supernatural looking substance.
"This is actually strangely tolerable" he said, trying to hold back a grin as he placed his first empty glass on the table.
"Another?" You asked with cheeky eagerness in a tone which implied you already knew the answer...
By 9:30, Mycroft was going insane. He had drank three and a half glasses of blue wkd (bunch more than he could safely take) and was now gallivanting about the flat spouting nonsense.
"(Y/n)! You know what? I don't know why you're with me. I'm freakishly tall, I always wear suits. I'm hardly a modern man... You're so CUTE! You know that??? You're just a little cutie pie!"
He giggled nonsensically again before flopping himself down on the sofa beside you and reaching out to stroke your face.
"Ok mr..." You groaned "I think it's your bedtime!!"

Greg-
When he's drunk, Greg completely loses all sense of logical thinking. Instead of rationalising situations, he simply dives straight in and hopes to emerge victorious when 9/10 times, he actually ends in failure. The best example of this was at an office party at the yard to celebrate Sargent Donovan's birthday...
"Woooh! It's soo loud in heeere!" Greg shouted as he clasped his hands tightly over his ears as he danced wildly. "I only came for the dancingg!"
It was true, the music was booming and the atmosphere was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic. The presence of slight nausea crept over you and, deciding to go to get a drink of water, you scurried away from the focal point of the party. For a good ten minutes you were stood at the edge of the room, cup in hand, simply bobbing your head to the cacophony of base drops emanating from the party. Annoyingly, your little bubble of private enjoyment was popped when Anderson swaggered over to you, clearly intoxicated.
"Hey babyy... How are youu tonight?" He asked as he attempted to lean on the wall in front of you but you turned away in disgust.
"Piss off" you stated harshly as you tried to escape, not knowing that Greg was practically running towards you both.
"Noww looook here you little sh*t! Get awayy from my girlfriend as it isss clear that she isntt interested okayyyy???" Greg slurred confidently as he pushed Anderson back against the wall.
"Greg don't!!" You pleaded as he aimed a punch and swung....
*SMACK!* Anderson was whacked square in the face which resulted in him running out, bawling like a child.
"Greg! (Y/n)! Get outt!" Sally screamed from across the room, she had seen the whole thing...
Soon, you were both outside, strolling down the long streets as you filled up your lungs with the cold air of the night.
"I'm so sorry I got uss kicked outtt" Greg pouted as you squeezed his hand comfortingly. You dismissed his comment with a quick and satisfying
"It's ok babe"
"Really??" He said, clearly shocked
"Of course! I would have done the same for you..."