Requested by BGNation4ever
Again and again. My body was thrown back with hit, every blow to the head, every kick to the ribs. I let it happen. How could I fight back? My mom had died a few years ago and I was stuck with my stepdad. My older brother and sister had lives of their own, who was I to burden them?
This happens every night. Every night, every morning, every day, I think of how I could have gotten out of there sooner and why didn't I? Gabby and Antonio are great older siblings and I'm forever grateful that Gabby let me move in with her and her husband. Antonio was the one who got me out of the house and away from my stepdad, but Gabby was the one I moved in with.
I hate that I had to rely on Antonio and Gabby to help me, but I'm glad they did. Otherwise, I might not be alive right now.
"Angel, get up, it's noon!" Gabby called to me as she entered my room. Well, technically it's her room, I'm just using it.
"Oh, yeah, I'm getting up." I said as I got up and made the bed.
"Don't forget, the barbecue it today. Everyone from the firehouse and Intelligence Unit will be here soon." Gabby told me on her way out of the room.
Great, a bunch of big, tough guys I can be scared of all surrounding me. Sounds like a blast.
But instead of my thoughts, I simply said "okay" as I grabbed clothes to put on. I just threw on shorts and a t-shirt before quietly making my way downstairs.
I paused and listened to Gabby talking to Matt and Antonio before entering the kitchen.
"...she seems to be doing better. Still kinda jumpy though." Gabby said quietly.
"Yeah well, I'd be jumpy too. I can't believe we didn't know this was happening." Antonio said in a hushed voice.
I couldn't stand and listen to them talk about me so I entered, making them all go silent. "I love when I enter a room and everybody goes quiet. It's comforting, really." I said with a sarcastic smile.
"Sorry, kiddo. Hey, also, I picked up more cereal for you." Matt said, setting the box in front of me.
"Thanks." I said as I grabbed it and poured it in a bowl. I was jumpy and scared around men, but for some reason Antonio and Matt didn't scare me at all. Neither did Gabby's buddy, Herrmann. But pretty much anyone else of the male gender scared the shit outta me.
The second I finished eating, the doorbell rang and I took a deep breath. They were here. Plenty of people for me to be scared of.
Gabby and Matt opened the door and invited the swarm of people inside, but thankfully Antonio stayed beside me in the kitchen.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and whispered, "These are good people, nobody here is going to hurt you. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, come find me and I'll make an escape for us to get away from the crowd. Okay?"
I smiled and nodded. I didn't want to be afraid of men, I was a 17 year old girl, for goodness sake! But, traumatic emotional scars often have shitty repercussions. It just so happened that abuse was one of those scarring things.
The flood of people entered and everyone greeted me, all of them seemed friendly, but I was still going to stick with the women instead. It was silly, but I feared men because of my stepfather. Great, I'm going to die alone.
Everybody went out back for the barbecue and I sat with Gabby, Erin Lindsay, Sylvie Brett, and Kim Burgess, chatting and watching some of the guys play football.
Once their game ended, I knew the men would be approaching and trying to make conversation with me, so I excused myself and went inside, seating myself on the couch with my phone in my hand. Antonio approached me and sat next to me, making sure I was okay.
We sat together for a few minutes but were soon joined by a dark haired guy, who, I won't lie, wasn't terrible looking, even though he was at least 30.
"Hey, Angel, whatcha doing?" He asked, sitting beside me at a comfortable distance, which I appreciated.
"Uh-just checking the news in MLB." I said, looking up at him from the MLB at bat app on my phone.
"Oh yeah? Who's your favorite team?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested.
I was still a little nervous to be around him, but I looked to Antonio and he nodded in reassurance.
"Uh, I like the White Sox."
"No way! The White Sox are my favorite! Can't stand the Cubs. They won a World Series and everybody jumped on the band wagon. Not us, we're Sox fans." He said, holding his hand up for a high-five with a goofy grin on his face.
I chuckled lightly at him and high-fived him. This is a guy I could be buddies with.
"Hey, why don't you come play football with us? Matt said you've got a good arm."
"Um, I don't know. I'm not very..comfortable with guys because of...." I paused. This was hard to explain.
"No, you don't have to explain yourself, I know. It's like PTSD. I had it after war and it takes time. If you want, you, me, and Antonio can toss a football out front, away from everyone. It's gotta be better than sitting here."
I smiled and nodded. "Okay."
We went out front and tossed a football back and forth, chatting about his PTSD and war and baseball and school. He seemed like a good guy, almost like an uncle or another big brother.
It helped to have Antonio around too, because I am still a bit afraid but, he seems like a good friend. He knows what I'm going through and I kinda trust him.
