Rena pov
I had found a way out, I was thankful for this. I was worried though in a way, but I didn't have any time to worry now. I wanted to get away from everything and everyone, I smiled as I made my way out of here. I turned off my phone and let it burn, I needed to leave this, I felt good about everything though.
I didn't know where I was going from here, but I knew I was going somewhere. I smiled cynically as I made my way into the town, I had a bike I was riding and hoped for the best.
I looked forward to getting back home, I just hoped this would go as according to plan. I didn't trust anything or anybody, I managed to get a gun and some other weapons. I didn't know what to think, I just needed to get out of here.
I didn't know what I had done, I was too far gone to know what I did. I was beyond repair, there was never any going back. I had lost myself, I let Casey break me down so much that I lost my mind.
"Rena, fuck you. You've done so many terrible things."
I bit my lip slightly as I heard the voices in my head, I didn't know if I was really hearing it or seeing it. I didn't know what to do, I shook the thought from mind and wondered what would happen. I didn't want to have to worry about this.
I was pissed off with myself.
"Shut up, leave me alone."
I couldn't even trust myself, I didn't know what my problem was. I didn't know why I was going through so much, I was confused and would do whatever I could to be alright.
I knew if I was in my right frame of mind I wouldn't be like this, I didn't think anybody would be dead. I loved everybody who'd been in my life and now they were all gone.
"You're such a fuck up, you're nothing. You're just a screwup. Nobody ever liked you, you don't deserve to be here, never have and never will."
I couldn't help myself, I didn't know what was going on. I was going to get out of here one way or another, whether I wanted to or not. The smoke and flames and burning fire could be seen from where I was now.
I tried not to crash because of everything going on inside of my head, I was so beyond confused. I was beyond crazy, I didn't know what happened, I didn't know why I snapped.
Everything inside of me just broke, I was afraid of what I was going to do next. I couldn't help but hate myself, I didn't want to believe the voices in my head, but I was beginning to believe them.
"Stop it, just get out of my head already. I don't need you tearing me limb from limb from the inside out."
I rode wherever I could, I needed to get out of here. I felt good though because I was alright, but I was also afraid too though because I wasn't myself. I was doing everything I never would have done.
I felt as if I was off my hinges and off my rocker, I was afraid of who I was becoming and what I was doing. I just hoped whatever this was would be different, I would go back in time if I could.
"I'm not going to be leaving you, I've always been here, remember."
I got off the bike and hit my head a couple of times with my hand, I wasn't ready for this. I would never be ready for anything, I just wanted to be in Casey's and Liam's arms, I wanted to be in Luke's arms.
I bit my lip slightly trying to stop from hearing all of the voices, the only voices I heard in my head were my own. There were a million little Rena's all talking in my head, I hated myself right then and I knew I needed to get help.
I knew where that led to, I hadn't gotten the right kind of help. I deserved to be locked up, in a straight jacket in solitude.
"Get out of my head, you're ruining me."
I ripped at my hair as I walked around a bit, I had dropped my bike for a little while and knew I would go back to it. I didn't know what my problem was, I knew mum and dad wouldn't be too happy if they knew everything I was going through and everything I had ever done.
"You're making a mistake, none of this should have ever happened to me or anybody else."
I yelped as I held strands of my hair in my hands, I wanted to just go bald. Get everything out of the way, I didn't like the monster I had become.
"I've literally lost everybody I knew, everybody I loved. My sister and everything, why're you possessing me."
I hopped onto the bike once more and continued riding it for a bit, I was happy when I found a car though. I slipped the bike inside and made my way towards wherever it was I was going to go to.
I didn't like this, not as much as the voices in my head did. I could literally say there were voices in my head and they'd made me do it, I couldn't control them anymore. I was losing grip in everything I ever knew.
"That doesn't matter, you think we care about them. You'll never amount to anything, all you'll ever be is a nobody. You're just a bitch. You need to end this all once and for all."
I hated having this internal battle, I couldn't help it though, I didn't know what happened to make me this terrible. I knew the voices were correct and nodded, I did need to end this.
I revved the gas in the car and drove as fast as I could, I didn't know or care where I was going. I was just going to get out of here, I was going to do exactly what the voices were telling me to do so. I was going to end this hell once and for all.
I crashed the car into a ravine as I picked up speed, I seemed to be indestructible. I seemed to be immortal.
I was immortal.
