Liberation.

Chapter 8

Hope

Mom's made me go upstairs after breakfast, I was forced to stay there until they called me down. I went up without a single word, I didn't want to sit downstairs anyway, especially today. I dreaded what they were planning later on that required me to be upstairs and not anywhere else. I dropped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling, everything was quiet and I felt more alone and alone. I was 16 now, finally 16. However, I was without the one person I wanted to be with. My ice, my cold and warm all at once Ice. Oh where are you? I wondered feeling the pit in my stomach grow deeper, all I wanted right now was him. 

I rolled over onto my side and brought my hand to my face, the small ring on my finger was all I had left, a reminder of what I had lost too. I hugged my hand to my chest and silently cried for the boy I loved. 

After my face was dry and sore, I checked the time. Only a few hours had passed, I got up and went into the bathroom. I washed my face and patted it dry, then I went into the bedroom and opened the closet. I looked through the clothes and found a pale blue dress, it looked a little like Winter, and reminded me of Ice so much. I pulled it out and put it on, it stopped above my knees and hugged my waist fairly okay. I found a pair of white converse and put those on too, I left my hair as it was already, a little messy and slightly wavy. When I took a look in the mirror, I exhaled deeply. "Oh if only you were here", I refused to cry more. I didn't want to be questioned by my mom's once I came down. 

Some time passed before my mom's called me down, I took a deep breath and walked out of the room. Music was playing downstairs, and I heard faint chatter in the distance too. I groaned internally, I hoped there wasn't that many people. I walked around the corner and there was everyone, standing around and watching me. There was a man and a woman, with a little boy I recognised. I assumed that was uncle Barry, his wife and their son.  Then there was another woman, standing with a little girl who looked to be around 10, behind them was the man who ripped me from Ice, and beside him was her. The girl, Helena, I think. My body grew hot and all I wanted to do was lunge for her. 

She stood there smiling, like she did nothing wrong in her whole entire life, I hated her. Then there were my mom's, looking so happy and perfect. There were other people too, I didn't know them, some teenagers too, I didn't pay attention to them too much. They were irrelevant, like everyone else here. I made a mental note to soldier it through tonight, wait till all this is over. I smiled and walked into the room, anxiety crawled over me however, I didn't know these people. They were part of a life I would've had if I got never taken, for a second I wondered how that life would've gone. 

"Happy birthday baby" mommy said coming over and embracing me in a hug, I hugged her back and then she turned to introduce everyone. There was Barry Allen with his wife, Iris and their son, there was Bruce and his wife with their daughter, and that bitch I wanted to rip apart. There was also a man named Floyd Lawton with his daughter, Robin and his girlfriend. The one person who stood out was a man with pale skin and green hair, he was holding a baby in his arms, standing beside a woman with hair black as a ravens feathers, they were a stunning couple. 

After I said hello to everyone, Uncle Bruce turned on the music and everyone went into different places. I stood in place for a while, not knowing what to do or say. Suddenly Helena was in front of me, my body grew hot and my skin itched. I had to ball my fists in my dress to stop myself from hitting her, "Hey Hope", she said casually, yet I could hear the cautiousness in her tone. "Helena" I said in a less enthusiastic way, "Look I know you probably hate me, but I was just doing what's best for yo-", "oh please, save it for someone who cares. You are the reason I wake up and go to sleep feeling so empty. All happiness I had inside me is gone, and I would love nothing more but to rip your head from your body, so do me a favour and stay the hell away from me", and with that I shoved past her. I needed a drink. 

I walked around the house until I found the liquor table, a variety of bottles were scattered here and there. Vodka, Brandy, Gin... I had no clue what any of those were, my eyes landed on a brownish liquid, it reminded me of Ice's eyes. I reached for it and read the label, "Hello there Whiskey" I whispered to it as if it were my only companion in this world. I looked around to make sure no one was looking at me, when I made sure the coast was clear I poured the contents into a red cup and walked out onto the garden.  

It wasn't too cold surprisingly, I sat down on the grass and looked up at the sky. Somewhere out there I wondered... Was Ice staring up at the sky like me, thinking of me the way I am of him. I brought the cup to my lips and took a drink, at first it was awful, I wanted nothing but to spit it out. What kind of drink is this? Regardless I liked the warmness of it as it glided down my throat, I took another sip and grimaced at the taste. I hoped this brown liquid would make the pain of today less painful...

"Flaking out at your own party I see", I looked to the side to see the man with green hair. I shrugged and took another sip of my drink, "not much of a social butterfly" I replied with a flat tone. "My names Jack, people call me Joker" he introduced himself. I found myself chuckling at him, his face turned into a questioning look, "so what are you like super funny or something?" I asked between chuckles. A hint of a smile graced his lips, he was quite attractive, but nothing compared to Ice...  

"Quite the opposite actually Hope, I was more known as a psychotic killer who had no mercy on those who disappointed him", he said. It caught me off guard and I found myself watching him carefully, "oh yeah? What changed?" I asked, a wider smile appeared on his face and his eyes lit up with a look I've seen a few times before. "I fell in love with a woman who taught me that being good was much better than being bad", I brought the cup to my lips and chugged the remainder of my drink. I cleared my throat and looked back at him, "then you can imagine what it would feel like if someone took that love from you...". 

"Your mother's wanted the best for you, you've been gone so long Hope... Put yourself in their shoes", his words went in through one ear and back out the other. They didn't mean much to me, they wanted the best for me and for their own selfish reasons, they ruined the only happiness I could remember. "They should have just let me be, I was happy, I was beginning to love life" my eyes began to sting, I wasn't about to cry in front of this man. I got up and stopped, looking him straight in the eyes, "thanks for coming to my party", and with that I walked past him too. 

I went back into the kitchen and poured myself another cup full of Whiskey, I took a drink and looked around the room. Mommy was talking to uncle Bruce and his wife, Helena was talking to the other teens, mom was with Barry and Iris. They all looked so happy, and the pit in my stomach only grew. I wiped away the tear that fell down my cheek and turned to look out the window, chugging back the cup of Whiskey... 

A few hours passed, I drank too much than I should. Throughout all this, not a single person noticed me... Like I wasn't even here to begin with. I stood up from the stool and wobbled slightly, I drank wayyyy too much than I should've. Yet screw it, here's to being 16 and emotionless. My eyes landed on the front door and I shrugged making my way towards it, once again no one noticed me leave.

outside the street was quiet, apart from a few dog barks here and there. I looked own the street and laughed to myself, "I'm in this foreign neighbourhood, with all these foreign people". That thought swirled around my head like a hurricane, I shook my head and took a deep breath. I picked a direction and began walking towards the park I went to with mom's the other day. The walk seemed shorter than last time, before I knew it I was there. I took off my shoes and walked barefoot along the grass, it tickled my feet but I didn't care. I kept walking until I found myself standing at the edge of the park lake, it spread out around the park, not too far out. I stood there and stared at it, something in me was telling me to take a step forward, submerge myself in the cold water and forget everything. I shook that feeling away. 

 "Isn't it too cold for a swim?"

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N/A- Hey guys, I am back with another chapter. Huge apologies for being absent so long. Trying to manage college and my personal life is a full time job and I needed some hard motivation to start writing again. I will be finishing off this book after 2 or 3 more chapters. I hope you enjoyed it and will enjoy the upcoming ones too.