YELLOW || Jughead Jones

09

Chapter song: "Lung" by Vancouver Sleep Clinic
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     Stumbling through the door, Samantha held the wall for support to stop her shaking. Tremors racking through her body, almost as if she was sobbing, but there werent any tears streaming down her freckle painted face. After getting through her front door, she slid down the wall in her entry way and scrambled to get her bag in front of her. Her glazed eyes shaking, as panic coursed through her, her hands ripping contents out of her bag.

The pouch, the dirty white pouch adorned with a yellow smiley face patch, where is it?

Darkness creeping into her mind. Thoughts running wild, so many different things running through her head all fighting to be at the forefront, and none of them were pleasant.

No, no, no. Go away, please just leave.

Samantha chants in her head still rifling through her backpack.

There! The pouch, the dirty, ink stained pouch with a yellow smiley face sewn onto the front. The pouch that will end her suffering.

Well, it will push her suffering aside.

Hurriedly Sam unzips the small coin pouch and digs two fingers into it, pulling out two small rectangular pills.

He said one should do, but now we are up to two. Tossing the pills onto her dry tongue, Samantha grabs her half empty water bottle from the floor next to her. She had set it aside in her frantic search for the pouch, and takes a swig. The room temperature water rushes into her mouth and washes the pills down her throat. Leaning her head down and resting her elbows on her knees, the only thing Samantha can do it wait.

Still shaking, she holds the pouch in her hands. Staring at that bright yellow smiley face attached to the front, she feels as it's mocking her.

Look how happy I am, you won't ever be this happy. That's why you need me. I'm the reason you're happy.

Anger swirls through Samantha, the thoughts that were barley starting to fade come back stronger, fiercer, and with all sorts of bad intentions. The goddamn face was taunting her. Minutes go by with Samantha's body shaking, almost as if she is seizing, with glazed over eyes that aren't focused on anything. The thoughts running through her head consuming her. Once Samantha gets a slight glimpse of reality, she holds onto it and pulls herself out of that state. The blonde knows it won't last long, she has to help herself. She can't feel like this, bad things happen when she does. She knows that much, but the worse thing is, she doesn't remember what she does.

Terrified of making another mistake, she pulls a third pill out. Taking it, she closes her eyes and rests against the wall.

Don't think, it's okay. Don't think about anything, okay I'm thinking, this is impossible. Think of the flowers. Yes, the flowers. The shades of yellow in the field. The way the soft soil jumps between my toes when I'm barefoot sprinting as fast as I can. Think of the way the sun rises and sets a glow casting over the field when I'm there in the early hours the day. Think of the breeze in my hair.

In. Out.

Samantha's breathing has slowed, and so has her heart rate. Now the thoughts running through her head are slow, peaceful. They aren't haunting her. They are full of flowers, yellow, her mother, and for the first time, a wonderful shade of blue. Samantha has once become comfortably numb.

Her head lolls back and against her shoulder, with hooded eyes she glances down to the ground. There sat at her side is the yellow face adorned pouch staring back at her.

💛

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You finally got a look into what darkness Sam keeps referencing and how she deals with it. Not so innocent anymore is she? Who is the "he" she mentioned? Oooo girl idk y'all better get ready
pastelpanic