The Story of How I Died

Chapter 8: Apologies

Everything was fine for a while. I was relieved. Alice and I slowly became friends again. Things were worse at home though. Sometimes I would break down in the bathroom  and scream at the mirror. It didn't help. 

I would try to write my feelings down in a notebook, but ended up scribbling DIE all over the pages and end up crying. My aunt was looking for a support group for me, for what's going on with my family and such. The locations were really far away. 

I felt like Satan was living inside of me and I made everything worse. I felt like I was a monster. I hate hurting people. If you really knew me, you would know that. I tried to get Dylan out of my mind but I couldn't. It was stupid. 

Haley texted me and she started saying that I should be the one apologizing to her. and she said I will apologize no matter what. Honestly. I don't know what I did wrong. Why she apologized to me and I should be apologizing to her. I just don't understand! I don't know what I did wrong. What the hell did I do? 

One day in Japanese I was talking to my friend Raven. 

"Does texting count as cyber bullying?" I ask randomly. Raven looked up from her paper and gave me a concerned look. At the corner of my eye Dylan, across from me, tensed up and sort of had a horrified look on his face. 

"Yeah it does. Why? Are you okay?" Raven asked.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I lied.

"Who has been hurting you?" I tensed. I gripped the table hard.

"It's just... people have been calling me a bitch lately." I looked away and back at my paper.

"What?! Who?"

I look back at her and quickly tilted my head a few times. Her eyes widened. She mouthed 'Dylan?' I nodded. She shook her head in disapproval. I went back to my paper.

"You should tell someone." Raven encouraged me.

"Maybe." Was all I said. After school, Dylan texted me. 

Dylan: I am sorry if you thought me or Haley were cyber bullying  you but it sounds like your bullying her to be honest.

What the hell? I called Odessa. I told her what Dylan just texted.

"What the. Didn't he say he deleted your contact? So much of an apology. He's just an asshole Isabelle."

"Yeah." Dylan texted again. 

Dylan: Because... Well you know what you did wrong Isabelle. and you should apologize to Haley but don't bring me into this and I say I was cyber bullying you because all I did was I said how mean it was that you told Haley she had to say no to me asking her out and anyways I'm sorry that I said it in a mean way and I won't ever text or talk to you ever again so you don't have to about that and I just didn't want you bringing me into your problem with Haley. 

I told Odessa what Dylan just said.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Him. First he's all like I'm sorry than he's being a bastard. Don't let it get to Isabelle."

"Okay." Was all I said.

"Hey I got to go. I'll talk to you later. Hope things go okay."

"Okay bye..."

She hung up. Dylan texted again.

Dylan: And just remember how good of a person you were and that you can be that person again and not a bully if you just forget about Haley.