How To Move

10

  Sarah got engaged to that James guy she introduced us to just before you left.
  I just thought I should tell you, or at least, write it down I guess. 

  If anybody saw these they would think I'm crazy. Maybe you would too, but you are possibly the only person that understands what I'm going through and I can't even talk to you because you're the reason I'm going through it. 

  Do you know how much that kills me?
  I try to talk to Sarah about it, but she doesn't understand.

  I saw you in a picture online yesterday. Allison had her arms wrapped around your waist. She always had a thing for you. A lot of people did actually. I never liked the extra attention I got after we were together.

  I haven't spoken to Allison since that time . . .

  We used to be best friends. It was me, Sarah, McKenzie, and Allison against the world. I don't think I ever told you what happened between us. I never wanted to. I still don't.
  Back then it was because I still liked Allison and you guys had always been friends and I didn't want to ruin that. I realize now I should've said something. It just put more challenges in a relationship on top of all the other crap we challenged ourselves with. 

  I'm ready to tell you now.
  Here it goes. 

  She pretended to be you.

  To this day I still don't know why. She wouldn't tell me anything afterward. She wouldn't talk to me. At first I thought she was mad at me still, but on and on it seemed more like regret was hidden behind her words. 

  She pretended to be you. 
  It was on a new app that you said you hated, so she decided to be on there for you. She started talking to girls, including some from school. She started flirting publicly.
  I quickly found the page.

  This was after our second fight, not too long actually. 
  I was so pissed. 

  I remember thinking that I was done with you. I was pissed, I was exhausted and I didn't feel "in love" anymore. 

  I was just so mad. 
  I didn't listen to you. 

  You may have caused me pain, but I didn't make it any easier on you. 

  We were both hard to love, but I loved you anywise. 

  I've thought of every possible reason why she did what she did. I thought of every possible reason why you chose to leave rather than stay. I don't have a reason for either.
  Both ended badly.

  Sarah found the right guy. They love each other. I want that. I want to move on.

  I miss Allison.
  I miss you.

  I should try talking to the people I miss.