How To Move

15

Dear Will, 

  Can you believe it's been ten years since we spoke. Ten years since we last saw each other, face to face. Ten years since I last heard your voice. 

  Once I finish this, I will have written 15 goodbyes to you. 15 goodbyes. This is the only one you will receive, and maybe someday, if the timing is right and our lives have moved past the age of love, we can sit and read them all together. I know that you will want to hear them. I just couldn't bring myself to give them to you. Not yet. Not before we both have fully lived out our life long loves.

  I don't know who you've been in contact with since you left all those years ago. I don't know who you've talked to, who you've met. I don't know anything about you, actually. I want to tell you everything, just so that you know that I am okay. Just so that you know that I never forgot about you and to tell you the whole truth, I didn't lie, that day you left. I've never stopped missing you. 

  I am married. He is very different from you. To be honest, that's a small part of why I like him so much. I have a beautiful and bright 4 year old girl and the smartest, most kind 6 year old boy in the whole world. I hope that someday, you will meet them. 

  I'm trying not to make this some cheesy goodbye love letter, but you know I was always a fan of those kinds of things. 

  All I ask is that, if you haven't forgotten me, that you don't. I ask that you keep room in your heart, where you can always keep a piece of mine. If you have forgotten me, I ask that you make an effort to try to remember. Remember my voice. Remember my skin. Remember my eyes. Remember my smile. You owe me that much. I don't believe I'm asking too much of you. 

  I don't need more favors then this. If you find me someday, that will be enough to make up for all of the horrible things we put each other through. 

  I have one more thing to say. Don't take this lightly. I haven't told anybody else this.  These words are just for you. They are for your ears and eyes only. Only you will ever understand what they are and what they mean to me. So please, don't take this lightly.

  There was a day where I didn't want to get out of bed. There was a day where, somehow, you glued me to the sheets. I don't wish that upon anyone, even if they are so cruel as to relish in other people's poralisis. So I tell you this.

  Remember that your heart is not something that is taped to the soul. It is not something that can be, by any emotion, stuck or stopped.

  Simply allow your heart to remember how to move.

                                        Love Always,

                                                      Danny