What Fools These Mortals Be {Bughead Fanfiction}

All Error With His Might

"That's not how it was at all, Betts." Jughead's words were still ringing in her ears. It wasn't as though she hadn't replayed the events of that night over and over again in her head; Betty could almost recite his words word for word she was so familiar with them.

His hand was still wrapped around her own and she was all of a sudden very aware of his body heat on the bare skin of her hand. "I was there, Jughead. I remember how it happened." She broke the silence that was wrapped around them. "You didn't want-"

"I did turn you down, Betts, but it wasn't because I didn't want you." Her eyes flashed to meet his. "You have no idea how much I wanted you that night."

"You said-" she started before he interrupted her again.

"I remember what I said. I wanted it to happen, Betts. I just didn't want it to happen like that. I wanted you to trust me. I wanted to be the one whose shoulder you leant on." Betty pinched the bridge of her nose, her eyes scrunched together as she tried to piece together her own memories to see how they fit with what he was saying. She had been so full of rage and despair that night, not to mention the alcohol that had been running through her veins.

"That summer I saw you, Betts. I saw the real you. I had always thought you were like the rest of them - an actress so high on her own importance, chasing a schoolgirl crush from high school each year."

"I guess not much has changed then," she mumbled, avoiding his gaze as she pulled herself away from his hold. Giving herself some distance and sitting on the arm of her couch. She felt as though the world was spinning around her. Everything that she had built up in her own mind about that summer, was falling down. She could feel her world slipping out of control again.

"You aren't that girl, Betts. The girl-" He reached for her hand again and she let him take it, she was too dazed to fight back. She felt as if the fight was draining out of her. She had been fighting so hard against allowing herself to sink back into her feelings for him that she was exhausted. "-No," he corrected, "the woman-" There was such a fondness in his tone that it took her by surprise. "-that I saw held herself together when everything else was falling apart. You helped the backstage crew. Not because you were being forced to but because you wanted to. You got to know us. That was special."

She shook her head, needing to somehow process the thoughts and feelings that were now overwhelming her. The need to escape was suffocating. The need to lash out to protect herself was so close to the surface. She had been pushing him away for so long that now that that avenue of escape was no longer available to her she felt lost.

"That day in the coffee shop felt like a dream or a fantasy or something. Betty Cooper asking me out for coffee, and smiling at me, even just looking at me. I couldn't believe my luck."

Betty felt that tug again. That nagging little voice that he was talking about the fantasy, not the real Betty Cooper. It was the one that she aspired to be, not whatever it was she was now. She could only imagine how much of a disappointment she was to him.

"That was the version of me before it all went wrong," she whispered, refusing to look at him.

"No." There was defiance in his voice and she couldn't help but lift her eyes to his. "There is no version of you, Betty. It's all you. And I -" he paused and she realized that she was hanging on every single word. "I wanted to get to know all of you. I wanted to be there for you when you lost your mom. I wanted to be the one that you talked to, the one that would try to make it better."

"I was hurting, Jug."

"I know you were, Betts. That's why I couldn't let anything go any further that night. It wouldn't have been fair. To either of us. I wanted it to be real."